Those Ah-Ha! Moments
In the midst of my isolation and madness I began to have moments
of clarity. Out of the thoughts of a woman trapped in a macabre and bleak existence....okay...perhaps I overstated just-a-tad...but that does not change the reality I had created for myself. I have been fighting a war for the last couple of decades, maybe most of my life.
I was drowning in a sea of self-pity and wore my bitterness like a suit of armor. I knew if I did not find whatever I had looked for my whole life, there would be no more.
I needed to express myself. Express the twirling, groaning, screaming of the one I had trapped inside. The one who took the risks, the one I could not trust.
I did the two venues I knew best, writing and music. Unfortunately I could not find my creative center. Hell, I couldn't find my center, period. It had vanished. *Poof!*
I was stuck.
One evening I just decided to write. I was not concerned with grammatical errors, insightful witty words and phrases, nor did I lose any sleep over the fact my writing may not be the fluid genius I had once believed. I was lost, I was frightened, and I was not going to roll over and die!
Moondove