Skunkville Saga Rumination

Unusual adventures & awkward situations & miscommunications seem to plague and/or delight an elderly couple who seem to know how to roll with the punches

The later lives of iconic residents in a nondescript American town. This blog novel currently has 2 MILLION words served up as 2,000 nail-biting quick-reading hard-laffing episodes, its 2,000,000 words more than ANY OTHER easily-obtainable novel. KIRKUS REVIEWS (see review on Kirkus site) compares SKUNKVILLE to the works of literary geniuses James Joyce, Thomas Pynchon, and John Barth. SKV Has attracted ~110,000 reader visits to date just on Delphi, plus an equally large number of additional readers on a diversity of other sites now no longer relied on by Skunkville.
Sep-19

BLOG CONTROL CNTER

WALT BROWN, SLAMMING HIS FIST DOWN ON THE CORNER OF HIS DESK, THEN YELPING IN PAIN WHEN THE DESK'S CHEAP METAL   EDGE SEPARATES FROM THE DESK'S COMPOSIITE 6% WOOD BYPRODUCT, 94% VULCANIZED CARDBORD BODY! 'UNBRAKEABLE BODY' -- HAH!!, WALT EXPLODES AS THE MONGREL SUBSTANCE RIPS INTO WALT'S FLIMSY DUNGERETTES!  AND THEN SOME!  WALT, TURNING TO EDNA:  'DEAR, WE MUST TRY TO RETURN TO BUYING CLOTHES THAT LAST FOR AT LEAST A WEAK OR TWO WITHOUT LEVI-ING ME EXPOSED & TERROR-RIFFED!!'

 EDNA, LOWERING HER HEAD AND SHAKING IT SORROWFOLEY IN SYMPHANY: 'YOUR RIGHT, WALT -- AS USUAL..... AT LEAST ONE LUCKY TIME A YEAR, THO I'M STILL NOT SURE ABOUT THAT PRESIDENT, OR PREZI? DENT! T NOW THET HE HAS HAD 3 SEPARATE AUTO ACCIDENTS WITH THINLY CLAD WIMMIN IN HIS CAR....YOU KNOW, WALT --THE PRESIDENT IS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVING HIZ OWN CAR UNLESS HE HAS CONWINCING EXPLANTATIONS OF HIS BEHAVIOR...AND BESIDES, WALT -- SHOULDAN'T A PRESIDENT BE EXPECTERATED TO DELIGATE OR WATERGATE DRIVING RESPONSIBILITIES TO A SPECIALLY TRAINED DRIVER THAT CAN PUT YOU ON THE WHITE HOUSE GREEN IN NO MORE THAN TWO TRIALS??   I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT A BILLIONAIRE USED CAR DEALER (SKUNKVILLE'S CURRENT PRESIFENTGENIUS MIGHT NOT HAVE THE SKILLS OR EVEN THE INTELLEGLANCE OR EVEN THE SNEAKINESS OF A GOOD OR GREAT NEW CAR WHEELER & DEALER!?!?  

WALT: 'LET'S FACE IT....WE'RE FINISHED AND SO IS OUR BELOVED TRIBUTE TO OURSELVES AND ORDINHARRY PEOPLE LIKE US!  I'M OLDER NOW AND EVEN MORE SENILE THAN I WUZ BEFORE WHEN THE LOCAL ELECTRICIAN CHARGED ME $10 A MONTH  TO GIVE ME A QUICK SHOCK JUST TO 'RESET MY BRAIN BACK TO 00000.00 JUST SO I COOD HAVE PLENTY OF OPEN SPACE TO PACK IN EXCITING & IMPORTANT NEW MATERIAL!'

  

EDNA INSERTS, 'YOU MEAN THE  NEW ROLL O' JEST!! WHO IS CAREFULLY MEASURING YOUR RAPIDLY ESCALATING DOWNWARD  SPIRAL INTO ANCIENT  BABBLE-ON... YER FREE FALL....YER  PLUMMETT PIE;;;;  INTO MUMBLING, BUMBLING, BUNGLING, BUNGHOLING, YER EVER-SLOPPIER DROOLING DISFUNCTIONY ...BUT ENUFF SAD!  EVERYONE NEEDS TO KEEP THEIR SHINS UP, BECAUSE YE NE'ER KNOW WHEN THE CLOUDY SKY MAY BREAK THRU THE SUNNY DAY -- EDNA, TILTING HER PRETTY OLD HEAD, REPYWOODING: REMEMBER SUNNY DAY FROM GRAMMAR STOOL?...  THE TRUTH IS, SAID DOES HAPPEN TO MANY FINE, INTELLIGENT FOLKS -- NOT THAT WE WOULD INCLUDE YOU, WALT, IN THAT HONORED CAT A GORY   --  THESE HEAVY MENTAL DECLINES OCCUR DUE TO MEDICAL REASONS WELL BEYOND THE SUFFERING PERSON'S CONTROL HOLE...LIKE A TRUSTY WATCH THAT IS RUN OVER BY A FREIGHT TRAIN....WHEREAS YOU, WALT, WERE BABYBORNE WITH A MEEK BRAIN OFFSET TO A DEGREE BY A GOOD, COMPASSIONATE HEART...

WALTER....YES, THAT'S RIGHT EDNA, I NEED TO STOP FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF JUST BECAUSE SOME 'TRUSTED FRIENDS' WHOM WE MADE $RICH$ FATCATS 'THANKED US' BY AT LEAST SERIOUSLY DESTROYING THE CREATIVE RHTHYM  OF SKUNKVILLE LIKE IT WAS A JOKE!! ...LEAVING US WITH THE NOTOROIOUS STENCH AND FLICKERING FLAMES AND CHOKING FUMES OF A CRASHED  BLOG, NEVER TO BE A VIABLE HUMOR PRODUCT AGAIN UNTIL POSSIBLY THE FIRST FULL, DEFINKLEINITIVE RE-RUN OF THIS UNIVERSE, 'THO WE'RE STILL TRYIN' TO REVIVAL THIS DEAD FISH OF A CRIPPLED, TERRORIZED  EPIC AS BREAST WE CAN, TRYIN, TRYIN, LIKE TOM TRYON!....ITS  TRUE -- OUR GLORY DAYS OF BASKING IN THE DIMLY LIT, 20 WATT SPOTLIGHT OF EPIC FUNNYBLOG ATTENTION...THOSE DAYS ARE OVER PROBABLY FOR MANY GENERATIONS AND REGENERATIONS OF OUR WRITERLY OFFSPRINGS  AND ROTTEN-TASTING RATIONS....BUT P'RA'PS FOR THE BETTER, AS MAYBE SOME OF THE 'TREASURED' HUMOR BLOGS ARE BETTER OFF AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA, A LEAD WEIGHT CHAINED TO THE SOGGY, UNREADABLE BLOG SCRIPT SHEETS THAT OUR BIG-HEARTED, NEVER-SAY-DYE ACTORS USE TO STAY ON-STORY..... NOW JUST SMALL CLUMPS OF PAPER, QUICKLY DEVOWERED BY CARNIVERWURST FISH, WHO ENJOY THE CLOTTED GOBS OF WET PAPIER, P'RAPS SOMEHOW SENSING THE BIT O' MAGIC THAT SKUNKVILLE ONCE HAD!   ......

WALT ROUGHLY INTERVENES, AFRADE OF WHUT EDNA  MAY SAY, SOMETIMES EDNA SAID TO RESEMBLE A LOOSE CANYON...  
WALT, GENTLY BUT QUICKLY PLACING HIS HAND SECURELY ON EDNA'S PIEHOLE: 'NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO MAKE MORE ATTACKS AGAINST  THE BLUNDERING, MISGUIDLED RAVISHERS AND SUBSEQUENT VOMITERS OF OUR SOGGY WRITTEN FAILURES....THE RELIGION WE WERE ONCET TAUT AT THE SKUNKVILLE CHURCH OF THE HIGHLY SKEPTICAL SEMI-BELIEVER TELLS US THAT GENERAL LEE, WE ARE IN A POOR POSITION TO CRITICIZE UTHERS...GIVEN OUR OWN VERY QUESTIONABLE TRACK RECORDS.  OUR 1ST JOB IS TO JETSON SOME OF OUR OWN MESSY POTRAITOS!!

EDNA, SHRUGGLING HERSELF AWAY FRUM WULT'S HANDZ:  'YOU FOOO-ELL!  WE ALL KNOW THET THE TIME TO STRIKE IS WHEN THE IRONING BROAD IS HOT ,,,, NOT WHEN IT OR SHE IFYELIKE IS FULDERED UP IN SOME CROWDED CLOSE-IT, ENDANGLED IN WEIRDNESS WITH THE VACUUM!....'

WALT SHAKING HIS HEAD AT EDNA'S RANTING INCOHERENT BLATHERING...THO' OF COARSE HE STILL LOVES HER MADLY!  NOTING SCARILY THAT EDNA NOW SEAMS ALMOAST AS EXTREME & POINTLESS AS WALT HIMSELF HAS BEAN IN HIZ RAVING.... SO HE TRIES CALMING DOWN HIS TONE:  'YES, IT WAS EXTREMELY DISPUPTIVE TO HAVE LAYPEOPLE TRYING TO TURN OUR BLOG INTO SOMETHING EVEN WORSET THAN WIDELY DESPISED WORLD CLASS ULTIMATE-BOTTOM-FEEDER, SKUNKVILLE ...(SKUNKVILLE EDITOR:  'OBVIOUSLY IMPOSSIBLE TO BE WORSE THAN SKUNKVILLE, WHICH WILL FREEZE ANY READER'S FACE OFF WITH ITS ABSOLUTE ZERO READING ON THE INSTRUMENTS!) 

SERVICE'....      

   

 
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