Edna has Walt on defensive! 'Honey...can we stop the argument for a second while I find my old baseball mitt? That might help me feel more comfy fielding all the accusations that are flying right at me!'
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Walt 'Yeah, I wonder how that PGA lets that Ben Hooligan use those illegal clubs?
Golfer Ben Turban, not dressed for golf in this pic
Edna, pacing back and froth in front of Walt's easychair, where Walt is curled up in a somewhat flabby ball, his hands over his ears.
'Please....just stop frothing, Edna! (Handing her a large fluffy bath towel he had been wringing to control his agita) I know sometimes I noticeably, embareassingly mess up -- or do a bad, half-xssed job at something .... But also remember that I'm not getting any younger, and my skills have been declining with every since my tragic Crimean War injury, a bow and arror shot taking off the tip of the tip of my left nipple, leaving me only half a man, unable to nurse twins, for the ROML ....
And the first episoda was originally considered one of the worst things ever posted on the otherwise fine, on-the-up-and-up-and-coming, resilient, local-owner-operated, politically conservative Delphi Corporation, that was first foundled in prehistoric Grease, the Citacradel of Civility! As the epicurists like to say, 'Without Grease, There is No Culinary Historectomy!!'
Edna continues to grimly pace, back and forth, occasionally stepping very close to one of Walt's vulnerable be-socked feet with her high heels and grinding the heel in a little bit before she moves on, usually then doing the same grinding act with her other heal as she passes back the other way... or are there somehow two Ednas, simultaneouserly walking back and forth at once?? Has Walt 'passed on' to The Place Where Anything Can Happen??!, i.e. an insaniizedtorium?
'As usual!' Edna declares, (slapping the blackjack in her hands to emphasize each word?): 'I ask for a straight answer and what do I get? A muddled, puddled, swirling ansewer filled with Nonsense, nunsense, and not a tuppance of straight talk. Walt, you never give up when it comes to making this family miserable.... Right... Fiddles?'
But Fiddles, who has been talking clearly and eloquently in English as well as a bit of French and German ever since their journey from the most remote Northwest section of the Southeastern quadrant of Ohio to the ancient peeramidst of Mehico and back, the Brown trio not realizing that the surprisingly inexpensive stay did NOT include travel accombinations or travelling expanses.... Well, Fiddles is frozen silent as this argument rages... almost like a statue honorarizing washed up little dogs who still have lots of chutzpop but know when to be quiet too....
Seemingly digressing back to puppyhood, managing only occasional heart-breaking soft whimpers and whines, as well as one muttered 'Well, when I was a pup....' that quietly fizzled out into a faint whine....as he considers laying on a few of his record-breakingly toxic and revolting bursts of excess gas -- but NO! She would realize every word and nuance of that message, even if he aimed it at Walt's mug... and Fiddles would pay to play that smelly song!!
Walt, still rolled up like a ball in his rocker, still pretending he's actually he's got his near-sighted face buried in their town's highly-regarded newspaper of record,... The ten-section, 100+ page Skunkville Bi-Daily Corn Holler and Corn Hxler....Of course, the woman's lingerie advertising section open in front of him, but trying to hide that fact by meekly commenting: 'Look at that... Ben Hooligan won another golf tourney... isn't that remarkable, Edner... I mean, what a guy for his aged!'
Edna, nods, exasperated as usual by Walt's nonsense and sickening attraction for the lingerie models: 'Yes... But don't mix Ben Hooligan up with the great (as a person and as a golfer) Ben Hogan.... Don't you know that Hooligan has a lengthy prison record and has been married 14 times...'
Walt, blushing a bit: 'Okay, so I might have been thinking of a different golfer, like Ben Turban, the turbaned, fast-playing 'turbo-golfer'!! I think that was it!.... Look, I never said I was that sharp, even when I was a young man, back in the Purring 20's.... '
Fiddles, thank goodness, breaks through with a quick bark about: 'Wasn't that the Rearing Twenties. boss, the greatest time ever to have kids because America was so clean cut?'
Walt: 'The Rearing or Rear-ending (due to people just beginning to drive cars) Twenties were when I was middle aged. The O-Ring Twenties were the decade 1820-29 when I was dumped out from heaven onto this desolate planet and then allowed to go to grammar school and have my hands hit with a cane for every mistake, including the teachers'.
Bit din't dispare frinds...Hires a hint ti yih: Things ir goingk tih lick ip fir ir gid frinds shirtly
YES THET'S RIGHT-O: This story isn't over yet folks! We've only broken through the 1.6+ Million word barrier recently, with our realistic goal a mere 1 Billion pleasing, dingle-donging, jacked-up, red-hot, relaxing, sintilittering words of thit-privicking, rilixing idilt drimih.
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