Life in the Soft Lane

A mind trip unlike any other.  The wild adventures of families in; a small, nondescript American town, including those of a diverse, ever-changing, sometimes weird cast of these families'friends & antagonists & acquaintances,young and old.  This amiably outlandish, often irreverent, R-rated tale currently has 1,603,635 words, longer than any known, easily obtainable novel other than >Artamene ou de Grand Cyrus<,completed around 1650 AD, which boasts 2.1 million words    Each of Skunkville's 1,100+ mini-epics is highly enjoyable on an a la carte stand-alone basis and even better if consumed in sequence from Episode 1 to Episode 1,100+Just in its four busy years of existence, at this hard-to-find, off-the-beaten-path site plus a few no-longer-existant Skunkville threads on unrelated but busier forums  , the Saga has received hundreds of thousands of reader visits.   Kirkus Reviews says of Skunkville Saga, 'A relentless, bizarre phantasmagoria', 'Few reading experiences match this one', 'Totally unpredictable', 'otherworldly', 'madcap', 'flippant', 'continue(s), endlessly, down a rabbit hole of absurdity....' 'will appeal to.... most adventurous readers'  These are hard times for books/novels, yet Skunkville, by re-engineering the novel from scratch as an eminently readable/mid-brow/accessible comic-book style novel hybrid, flourishes on its own tireless, restless, bizarre, inquisitive energy despite  lack of any publisher or other support/funding; just a guy smiling as he hammers away on his pc several hours a day!  judged most similar to Skunkville according to Kirkus critics....both among the greatest novels of all time!Due to all the reading traffic at Skunkville, literally thousands of the characters, places and concepts of Skunkville have an Internet listing: TRY IT! TYPE in 'Bumpkus Bozo'for the fine Skunkville establishment Bumkus' Bozo Bar'.... or hunt & peck in 'Gerbilicus'for the 50 foot gerbel that viciously attacked Skunkville a whiles back!


WALT HAVING BALL re-mixed, re-mastered

Edna has Walt on defensive! 'Honey...can we stop the argument for a second while I find my old baseball mitt? That might help me feel more comfy fielding all the accusations that are flying right at me!'
Original Delphi Forum, where the Delphi Blog and Chat services were devised!
Walt 'Yeah, I wonder how that PGA lets that Ben Hooligan use those illegal clubs?
Golfer Ben Turban, not dressed for golf in this pic

Edna, pacing back and froth in front of Walt's easychair, where Walt is curled up in a somewhat flabby ball, his hands over his ears.

'Please....just stop frothing, Edna!  (Handing her a large fluffy bath towel he had been wringing to control his agita) I know sometimes I noticeably, embareassingly mess up -- or do a bad, half-xssed job at something .... But also remember that I'm not getting any younger, and my skills have been declining with every since my tragic Crimean War injury, a bow and arror shot taking off the tip of the tip of my left nipple, leaving me only half a man, unable to nurse twins, for the ROML ....

And the first episoda was originally considered one of the worst things ever posted on the otherwise fine, on-the-up-and-up-and-coming, resilient, local-owner-operated, politically conservative Delphi Corporation, that was first foundled in prehistoric Grease, the Citacradel of Civility!  As the epicurists like to say, 'Without Grease, There is No Culinary Historectomy!!'

Edna continues to grimly pace, back and forth, occasionally stepping very close to one of Walt's vulnerable be-socked feet with her high heels and grinding the heel in a little bit before she moves on, usually then doing the same grinding act with her other heal as she passes back the other way... or are there somehow two Ednas, simultaneouserly walking back and forth at once??  Has Walt 'passed on' to The Place Where Anything Can Happen??!, i.e. an insaniizedtorium? 

 'As usual!'  Edna declares, (slapping the blackjack in her hands to emphasize each word?):  'I ask for a straight answer and what do I get?  A muddled, puddled, swirling ansewer filled with Nonsense, nunsense, and not a tuppance of straight talk.  Walt, you never give up when it comes to making this family miserable....  Right... Fiddles?'

But Fiddles, who has been talking clearly and eloquently in English as well as a bit of French and German ever since their journey from the most remote Northwest section of the Southeastern quadrant of Ohio to the ancient peeramidst of Mehico and back, the Brown trio not realizing that the surprisingly inexpensive stay did NOT include travel accombinations or travelling expanses.... Well, Fiddles is frozen silent as this argument rages... almost like a statue honorarizing washed up little dogs who still have lots of chutzpop but know when to be quiet too.... 

Seemingly digressing back to puppyhood, managing only occasional heart-breaking soft whimpers and whines, as well as one muttered  'Well, when I was a pup....' that quietly fizzled out into a faint he considers laying on a few of his record-breakingly toxic and revolting bursts of excess gas -- but NO!  She would realize every word and nuance of that message, even if he aimed it at Walt's mug... and Fiddles would pay to play that smelly song!!

Walt, still rolled up like a ball in his rocker, still pretending he's actually he's got his near-sighted face buried in their town's highly-regarded newspaper of record,... The  ten-section, 100+ page Skunkville Bi-Daily Corn Holler and Corn Hxler....Of course, the woman's  lingerie advertising section open in front of him, but trying to hide that fact by meekly commenting:  'Look at that... Ben Hooligan won another golf tourney... isn't that remarkable, Edner... I mean, what a guy for his aged!'

Edna, nods, exasperated as usual by Walt's nonsense and sickening attraction for the lingerie models:  'Yes... But don't mix Ben Hooligan up with the great (as a person and as a golfer) Ben Hogan.... Don't you know that Hooligan has a lengthy prison record and has been married 14 times...'

Walt, blushing a bit:  'Okay, so I might have been thinking of a different golfer, like Ben Turban, the turbaned, fast-playing 'turbo-golfer'!!  I think that was it!....  Look, I never said I was that sharp, even when I was a young man, back in the Purring 20's.... '

Fiddles, thank goodness, breaks through with a quick bark about:  'Wasn't that the Rearing Twenties. boss, the greatest time ever to have kids because America was so clean cut?'

Walt:  'The Rearing or Rear-ending (due to people just beginning to drive cars) Twenties were when I was middle aged.  The O-Ring Twenties were the decade 1820-29 when I was dumped out from heaven onto this desolate planet and then allowed to go to grammar school and have my hands hit with a cane for every mistake, including the teachers'. 

Bit din't dispare frinds...Hires a hint ti yih:  Things ir goingk tih lick ip fir ir gid frinds shirtly

YES THET'S RIGHT-O:  This story isn't over yet folks!  We've only broken through the 1.6+ Million word barrier recently, with our realistic goal a mere 1 Billion pleasing, dingle-donging, jacked-up, red-hot, relaxing, sintilittering words of  thit-privicking, rilixing idilt drimih. 

Please return soon for more heart-pounding action and genuine excitement!!  You are our favorite reader, DYK?  As long as you visit our episodes and leave them with a happy smile, we don't care if nobody else shows up...



«February 2015»

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