Skunkville Saga Rumination

Unusual adventures & awkward situations & miscommunications seem to plague and/or delight an elderly couple who seem to know how to roll with the punches

The later lives of iconic residents in a nondescript American town. This blog novel currently has 2 MILLION words served up as 2,000 nail-biting quick-reading hard-laffing episodes, its 2,000,000 words more than ANY OTHER easily-obtainable novel. KIRKUS REVIEWS (see review on Kirkus site) compares SKUNKVILLE to the works of literary geniuses James Joyce, Thomas Pynchon, and John Barth. SKV Has attracted ~110,000 reader visits to date just on Delphi, plus an equally large number of additional readers on a diversity of other sites now no longer relied on by Skunkville.



Walt is faced withhhhh an historectumanical number of challenggggggges right at this pivot-toll 25c= 15c /per passenjeerer pert car...50c per dozing passincher(s) lazy car; or a Hefty 74c Quick Vacuum Cleanup of cash a mounting on each other & shaking as long as necessary to shake out & vacuumed up by the sleazy toll collector, whose favorite words are 'Ooooh Excuse Me...Lovely Miss, my grab was slightly off far as collecting $$ uz corncerned!!!' after his reaches to supposedly collect the toll...'So surry I miss, bedder luck fur me THIS DETERMINED GRABgrrr!!'  Walt and/or Edna risks a life celebratory sentence if they 'deblibberattly interfear'..... with the tollgrabbing Ofifishole....sentencee(s) crried frum Ohio town to lokell yokell Ohio town in an open haywagoon for a week every year jntil the County Judge Herbert 'Horny (for his sax playing expertise) passes on or re-tires his Jeep Cherokee, which still reportedly has on it the vehicle's aborigonal rubeur'!! 

Followed by an obligatory public 1-week hangling & dangling and public dingling
then wrapped up by a decisive 3-day high-swinging non-stop swingling and the remaining defendant(s; if any)  are released to try to evade the public as they try to dash their way out of town...yes, dash.....or mebbe walk...or p'raps crawl....So, lacking then ability to change unlike Edna, Walt's eldearly head is spinning & swirling in a strange-side-winding, snakelike  way in the hyperspace that diagrampstically summarizes Skunkville action/progress-regress opposing for the cameras at this exactommoment.... the number, type, length, type, and width of the vectors varying continuously in an ever-changing, never-repeating  pattern given the current flux divided by the decayweighted recent flux.....Jim Constantyilly erasing any bit of encouraging news  with an even greater projection of off-settling  downbeat news or even a heavy switch of trends to  to come to  Walt out of nowhere. In the po/o-aritly of this self?-created?  chaos!! his mind feels like it is expandexing larger than all 100 books including chhilledwrens' thin tomes in the Lie Brarry,    while his hope is strong --  but when the Tide Deter gent  seems to turn against Walt, like now when the wettened bottom of the wet Tide Box GIVES WAY MATEY!!!!!  Creating a terrible mess when the Tide Box turns and buries the hungary dogs' delicious (in their palates, anyway) dinners with inedible deter-misses &gents of the k-9 persuasion!    

Walt crying out:  'MY GOODNESS, I am ape-palled, surprized at my relatives!!  I mean, for the sake of our pets' health and spirit! and trust!         
Walt cortinues: 'I wuz jest reeding in 
Pets' Health & Fitness Magazine  abowt my pet topak:  pet predicktubbubillity........ somehowslowly  becoming lighter than hair and rising closer & closer to the sealing which holds rising things like that inside in hiz howz.... Walt's head seeming to him  to baloon to a huge size that because of its natural lack of content since it must be a growing vacuum somewhere in his head area, witch begins to elevate  Walt like a lighter than err crafit, or at leach this is whalt he thinks, whose legs seem to be bending and thestraightening as his eyes squint to almost being closeted...then open alowly but sorely to frightening to Edna & their dogs  BUG_EYED size....all this with no reason, since nuthing is happening around or to Walt!  

A bit nauseous under the influence of his wild, groudless fears, he was unfortunately  sitting near to a window, opened because of a toxic rear admiral emission by Fiddles, their elderly daschund prone to such unpremedicated  surprise 'attacks' which of course aren't malicious but simply horrid smelling gastric emissions tainted due to the Browns' steady serving of CrapMart Budget Dog Food to the poor, but healthy doggie 

The Dog Food's Patti Label and its Blue Bells specifies/clarifies  'We Provide No More Than the Minimal Leekhole Amount of Any Healthful Nutrient to keep yer Dog by yer sides and nut chasing chicks or cats that may be ootsides yer winder!!.... The poor animalus not even able to enjoy the aroamer or even the cute or the raucous sound of its own emissions anywhere in the house....  Due to Walt's  . Walt's new high-speed friend, a little robbit trying to smile at everyone including normally animole chasting Fiddles  as he holds his cute little rabbit nose whom goes at near light speed toany 'new crisis locations' as his power suction vent quickly collects the malodor and changes its chemical composition so it balloons  into the Skunkville StratomaticSphere , where it quickly dissapates into nuthing rememberaball,  like a long term soberalcoholic taking a stiff  drinkyepoo.....dissapatedly dis-and-dat-apating across the Big, Big Sky of Skunkville..almost seeming like a SURROUND-CROWN... the visual distortions in the day and night sky being caused by the illegal emissions pouring dey & nite frum evil genius Devil Doll's illegal plant  that produces weaponry that even for the moment has The President & the In-Congerous Scrabble-ing for answers to the very immensity of risk frum Devil Doll's operation as well as his apparent threat to  hyper-clone himself for immediate shipment to other countries to aid in similar 'improvements .... As the shocked Skunkville civilians who believe the hype about Devil Doll worry themselves to deaf  (SCREAMING OMG!! at the top of their HOME lounge chairs paranerdily peering out a curtained window  and hopefully scream frantickly in terror... 'Our President needs to alert Bathman and Supperman and SpinnerMan and Milkey Moose IMMEDIATELY: WHETHER THEY EXIST OR NOT!!!  If not  Crying out panicky  at the horrible, disgusting transformation....Many using their irritated noses (And to think, I was just about to begin my afternoon breathing relaxativation exercises!!  to track down the sores of the smell then pickling up shrp rocks to throw at Wal ib particulart, alwaze considered a Super Fishilly Nyze Perzon but a Lew's Cannon (since Walt had purchased an antique cannon frum now dearly departed Lewsto burst his vastly enlargening  but thinning, virtually see-thru disgusting head  head, which seems to be alsmost completely EMPTY save for what might be a tiny brain so light that it is floating around awkwardly in his now transparent flying head...  Rapidly rising faster and faster as the circumference and volium of the head grow and Walt's tiny pinpoint eyes send out harmless laser-like beams of pure fear....which, if they strike an earthbound person, begin to make them 'lift off' and begin to experience the same wild, repulsive, horrifrying symptoms as Walt...  But Walt's ever-growing baloon head retaining its relative size and altitude advantage size and over any later 'bloomers' or 'baby boomers' or 'baloon heads'!!....While friends of  'later bloomers' trying to hold their Bloating BOATING as their activity with great cashet...with huge meals served to their honored guests on board plus the richest desserts plus a custom that guests could do no work onboard other than using the potty built into the luxurious chair which boldly proclammed the guests name!!      more bouy oh bouyant with every second holding to each other -- people even hugging people whom they've never met or didn't even like until NOW! ways, relieving Jim, but then shifting, clashing, clanging  arcs, wALT swimming  all the way to  NOAH'S Arcade (experience the some of the best, most thrilling moments of the entire Old Testament at Noah's Arcade all the way from the Flood to Noah's Last Stand and  Noah's ArkTangent  (the critical intelligence being at what angle on average  did Noah tilt his head when he was listening to God or when he was  thinking about what his best reply might be to God's latest loving but  challenging comment or question to Noah. like. 'Dear Noah, now that we've given you the Earth placement that you've been anxious to have, what is your plan to turn this situation into something that benfits not only you and your family BUT BATTLEFIELD EARTH and the rest of the UNIVERSE AS WELL.... Plus your neighbors, the rich and the poor families, and their soil and the sizes of their properties....and more broadly the stability of the  geography of the earth itself...And how your and our efforts will in due course substantialy improve the lives of your bitter, assasination-minded jealous enemies of our progress .... Have you heard my questions, or have you dozed off again due to your sleep apnea?'   Noah leans back, a little bit farther every minute,  in the odd wooden sitting device  that Noah calls his Express Thinking  & Breakthrough Concept Recliner, Many centuries later actually sold at RACK-MART based on highly questionable comments about the efficacy of the  device back in Noah's days...

Noah: OH No-AH!!  How I hate to fail in my general commitment to Goodness and Love and CARING and RESPONSIBILITY!!....Even if it these problems are occurring  because I lack enough information about this Brave New World....the Earth of our fathers but with immense changes in it due to the driven way that the current human inhabitants disregard the respect of Nature  to bring this craziness back down Earth!!  I must pray to the Good Lord Above  that everyone who has been drawn upward and then ballooned up in size as a consequence will be gently returned to earth 

Eddie, a friend of Noah's, claps him reassuring on his biblically-oriented  back:  'Hey, Noah!...No-ah. The problemo as I see it.  If you can recreate the prototype, I'll bet you I can figure the flaw with  yer help and fix  the glitch to put us back on schedule to complete our brief, friendly surprise visit of peace and give our culture -- everyone! -- the ability to cross the ocean or alternatively visit any safe destination in outer space to find new recruits for our Culture and beautiful, inspiring new places for them or us to liver, so as to continue the growth of Earth-originated civilization!! It's an old adage that once you stop growing you stop crowing and start shrinky-dinking!!!  We can downplayit with new races by just calling it Our Culture Club rather make any references to nationalism or bashionalism.  Beside more kooky sidedishes, we are looking for more exciting/endearing ways of creating a buzz about our 'calm clam clan....But instead of telling people what it is...whitch we barrelly know ourenselvits, We'll let the newcromblers have jest as mutch say about our ident-itties as its originators....Assuming we actually had predecessors or preddigressors...  After all...we only came up with this Brave New Whirl idea for the Unieverset a coupl' a dazes eggo!!!  

«May 2017»

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