Jill's friends PLEAD: 'Keep reading this funny Skunkville book to us-sens!'
'Hey! What are you doing to that poor ex-reader of Skunkville! All he did was miss reading three episodes.... His punishment is far greater than his crimbe, you mansters!'
HEY! I wuzn't staring... I wuz A D M I R I N G!!
'O.K. But don't let me ketch you again...'least today!!'
As you are probably well aware, if you are one of the few. the proud. the brave two or three of the lonesome, the hungover, the bent-over from hard labor, the mistake-prone people who vizit Skunkville(10%+! loyalty... Just 0.003% of the U.S. adolts who frequent lengthy fiction blahghgs aboot smell towens> i.e., Skunkville Stock, which is tied directly to readership, like a noose around the remaining readers' pointed heads thereby 3/10ths of a penny and falling (indicated by VV!! insteed of >> or better yit^^!!... the handful of still lving but generally feeble current readers admitting thet they read the Skunkville Saga as a punishedment for heving evel thots, or werset yeti dangle-er-ous kneivel thots
A few of the rare, the weird, the loyal Skunkville Readers said that Skunkville was their last remaining untried option left among television, radio, interknit, personnell knitting, eyebrow knitting, reading reader reacher wanting ads...i.e., being boored out with everything other reading materiel of any kindle...
Or a Skunkville Reader in yer outpost 'er crossroads 'er smulltown 'er twon/sitty/megolapilesk had ordered ye to read a Skunkvile epic=sode......AND you did.... And are releived after returning from the bathroomba satisfied and refreshened that ye hev not yet (i.e., 'nyet!) bin awrustled and penned up by the po-lice, er deported, or assinated, or drawn & quartered at the Skunkville Mojo Motor Inn or Howard's Johnson, etc., , Or event gently but firmly and fully-pack-edly 'placed' in a 'fur safer place fer yu & fer the clam-unity at largesses.... A place where you will be with other inn-a-scent (at hearth......) accused trubble- & rubble- and economic-bubble-colopse makers and dingle shakers and where you kin be given breathing space to flower back into the promising sitizen or even standingzen that you oncet seemed aboot to becum...... In uther werds, even tho' security and walls and suspicion aboot ue is high, aunt may peak at an even higher jmind-blowering livel, you will be permitted room to grow into yer full-figured potential goody goodness.... So these sidetrecks aren't nuffin' fer ye te feel bad aboot...many of the werld's most wonderdust peepholes were pretty criminuls and goof-offs and szutz-boles and weiner schnitchzels before they turned to Good as their last remaining option after unending fail years!! So this diversion of yer pafth is fer yer own good & for the safety of the uther local yucklers, elderly sprys as well as elderly feebles who may not be taking their full, lengthy regimens of medicines due to fatigue or throat cloggage.....as well as other classes of feebelians, such as sour over the hill sports ex-stars (Ex-Star Read All AbouTit! King Big Tut plays one year too many and is now in grave condition!! community's friendly pets & animals, perhaps strong physically, but generally, according to Honorary General Clayton Buxton of the Skunkville Reserves, not as bright as even our aveage 80+ year old senior humans...especially when it combs to hygiene and reading and following the signs around town that include critical information, such as STOP! or GO! or DO NOT ENTER! DISPLAY SPESHOLE COURTESY & PATIENCE TWARD GEEZERS & GEEZETTES ... Each citizen of Skunkville is assigned to an appropriate school based on the gender, age, aptitudes, occupationts, and interests. These supple/mental 'slidebar' schools are well-staffed, every staff member for instance knowing all major western & eastern forms of self-defense and unstoppable (to be used appropriately) reliable cold-cocking KO combinations.
Yes, if you are being so-held by the U.S.A, Food & Drug Admonitoristration for the porpoise of erasing from your memory sacks (the new theory on where and how memories are stored by the human mi......Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm and..... What have I jest been doing, enny howl??? Whut's wrung with me & everyjaun or juanita on earfth lately? I jest can't seem to rememb......... Hey! Joey!! I saw you listenin' to me... Whut wuz you a sayin' aboot moi?
Suzie, blurshing: 'Why wuz ye staring in mine General Direction, same words as she (General Delilah Direction) who turned the tide at the historically suppressed therefore li'l known but tide-turning War of Ocean Sitty?'
Joey: 'Huh? I was starin' at yer lurnch bagg...nut ye fer hevvins' psych!! Tho I hev on pest o'case-un chicked out yer lunch beg.... it luuked so bulging, so fully pack-ed cumparroted to mine... Look at Mayan?' (Joe's lunch sack has a poorly scrawled crayoning of an ancient Mayan), Joey replying Wasn't my reel job suppos-ed to be to use the mechanical hand mower to mow and trim Uncle Moe's 3-acher lawn & 50' by 20' garden of gardenias...wherein he loves to sit in a little alcove reading his Earle Stanley Gardener's great novels of mistery??