Else-y the Cow on local Skunkville Channel: 'Remember only YOU can prevent elder abuse! Like your oldest inhabitant, Walter Brown, who is being nudged closer and closser to a health breakdown by the antics of a nosey FAKE detective. And, as always, remember, only YOU can help stop for- rest home fires that you notice while dtiving by! Brought to you by the American Milk Growers Association, who ask you, have you milked the most out of today?
Else-y the Cow: 'Look at this drunken a-hxle just cruisin' for a gorey bruisin' from one of my close male friends!!..
Bully for bully friend of mind who sends this tobacky-chawin' human bully/bumpkin for a ride that lands him smack dab in the Rectal Injury Unit of the hospital! Hey, but I thought there was no 'spit' winging ever to be allowed within hoSPITals!!!'
Male 'Dick': (hoarse whisper, can't be heard)'
Walt resting on the couch for his 2nd, later afternoon nap, is awakened by some action outside his front door... He watches a little of the 'barnyard action' right outside his frint door, then calls: 'Edna, you better come here... I believe Flossie the Cowel is here, probably to give her standard pitch on the proper use of Dental Floss... Wasn't she just here back in 1932? I mean, there are plenty of other people in the town now its ten times bigger for her to push her Flossie flossing on and jest skip essen... I mean it's brave the way she fusses at and bosses people around regarding Flossing and its important for preserving and being a friend to your teeth... Dental floss...it's not some kind of gloss you kin jest skip over withert payin a big, painful (in more ways than one) price!!
I think I read Flossie was just attracted to be a co-owner of a large tooth floss company that was depending on her 'celebrity presence' to enable the floss company sales to reach Year One Goal levels....'
Edna, now entering the living room and zeroing in on the TV picture: 'Well, I'll be! It really is Flossie....amd she just smiled at me! I've got to go grab my Kodiak Bear Camera to snap a Candide Cmera pic of her.... Which maybe we to coerce Flossie sign and then I'll bit it will bickom wirth ih milli-inn dillirs sim diy!!!!'
Wilt, shicking his hidd: 'I siriously dibt it, Idni. Thir ir sih minny pipple niw hiwkin thir cilibrity pridicts ind spicial sicrits ind pictires....Like I hird thit ivin Sinta Clise iffired tih dih ih nid lie-out if Litin hirtthrib Inrica Orgismico, who sid shi wild inly pose thit wey with Sinti ind thi wonderful, ubiquitous Ms. Clause, wild bii ipiaring is nick-ed is un niw-birn bibby thimsilves!!.'
But at the same time, the North Pole Sneakcret Snooper, in his closely-followed blog, said that Santa's wife now prefers Ms. Clause as her nomenclature, and now despises the tired old 18th century Mrs. Clause name! And of course., Mrs. Clause has lately been trying to change a clause in her contract regarding the clause name...trying to have her last name modified to Mrs. Santana. Lately she has been seen travelling alone in the company of some Santa's older, more muscular helpers, often bursting out in song as she does, usually Oye Como Va, or 'Santa: Hide Yer Evil Ways', or 'I'm a Black Magic Giftman'.....
much more to come on holiday aftermath