SKUNKVILLE SAGA

Never duplicated, rivalled, or regulated... Consistent daily reading of Skunkville Saga has been shown to improve regularity, that is if you also eat right and take a walk as soon as completed the reading,health permitting

Fictional snapshots of the lives of iconic residents in a nondescript American town. This blog novel currently has more than 1.6 Million words, longer than any known, easily-obtainable novel. Kirkus Reviews compares it to works of James Joyce, Thomas Pynchon, and John Barth. By 2016 100,000+ ahead of the curve readers will have chosen to visit and enjoy this site.

May-18

Krench Time in the Big Game edit+more

Officer Krench, perhaps slipping out of his weird fugue, where he became his own opposite...well, not in all ways but... He checks, peeking in his shorts...Phew!'
This charming young lady demonstrates PROPER use of hula hoops. Have YOU hula hooped yet today? WHY NOT!!? And I'm not talking about rolling ones out on a hjghway, a potentially murderous crime!!! I mean making that hoop defy gravitational forces by your body's own rythmic Hawaiian hula-ing!!
Krench reconsiders, his appearance even seeming to take on a slightly more sensitive, feminine side as he says... Zippo......But then after a long additional pause, as Walt absentmindedly admires how well being a policeman has kept Krench in sparkling good shape in spite of all his years and his irrational fears... Krench then saying: 'Look, guys. Everyone, even two old hopeless gapers like you, deserves at least one extra chancet. I'm going to reset the clock to zero, and take all yer demerits off the tote board... How about that for general ossity?'
Edna, beaming at Krench, and giving him an extra little wink when Walt turns away to cough up some of his usual sputum into his handy needs-cleaned hanky: 'Well, I'll say for the two of use, since Walt here is busy being disgusting in public, that I greatly appreciate your kind cherrytree
The Browns' Charitree

Well, as the visuals to your left that we provide our more elderly readers in order that they can at least follow the main thrust of our story -- dully or dooly show, things are finally seeming to  break the right way for Walt and Edna, and even Intrepid Inspector Krench. You may have caught the Skunkville gossip in the hallways where you live or work or hide from a pursuer,...Namely, the persistent intense perspirated whispering about the opposite way the usually timid Inspector Krench has been behaving in the past few episodes of our talk-of-every-town gigantic blog navel , Skunkville Saga.

Now, seasoned Skunkville readers know that in truth, Officer Krench, demoted to Junior Assistant Petty Officer on  the otherwise aggressive head-banging Skunkville police farce... Motto: Clobber suspect first: plenty of time for questions later if they regain consciousness..  Krench is concidered by the townspeople and the rest of the fierce, hard-nosed, shoot-first police force as a timid and kindly, give-the-benefit-of-the-doubt, soft-hearted/headed officer, who should have been fired long ago for compromising the law & order & shoot first & ask yerself why later stance of the force, and who actually has no authority whatsoever over the Browns, since Krench's precinct is now Lower Southwest Skunkville, an area largely filled with no-longer functioning ancient 'ghost' factories...largely known for his compassionate behavior, finding ways to feed and care for the vagrants and vagrantas and minivagrantitos who huddle in the rundown, crumbling, rodent-hotel factories as their temporary homes....While the remainder of the town is booming like a loud-mouthed announcer's voice on a home team home run, in style now being people throwing out dollar bills as 'these xxxdamn worthless nuisances (a la a penny used to be to some, simply a means for the poor to pass on illnesses to the paranoid rich.)' Well, a lot of Skunkvillevahalavers now do this ostentatious coin-trashing  when in public circumstances. 

Take the Bung Hill Hoop Factory, an extablishment that once made hoops for affluent women's dresses, then switched to Hoo-\La-La! Hoops, a hula hoop knockoff that were made ritzy with special styles and gold or silver plating and 'positioned' for the Bedroom Hula Hijinx market segment.....  The Bung Hill company more recently tried to survive making play hoops for children to enjoy rolling and running after (watch out for that truck, tho!) in SAFE places where the liverwurst that could happen would be collision with another child or a mesh fence or the hard support for an 8-swing, swing set, like that of a well-endowed braless woman.   

And perhaps liverwurst of all, they now help create urban, suburban, and even interstate chaos when runaway hoops started appearing seemingly out of nowhere on high-speed roads where the traffic nowadays is  often moving 100+ MPH, especially in Ohio, where people just want to get through it to the next boring state... and vehicles may be going as many as four abreast or occasionally even a suicidal FIVE PER BREAST, one or two using the shoulder or even the grassy offroad area, if properly equipped, on the many three lane per side highways..... in NASCAR-like insanity that is then televized and is the #1 'sports event' on Skunkville Channel 'Normal' 98.6!!!   'Whoa, fans... Look at this smashup... Just when driver Ed Flatz had taken the lead in this spontaneous race to nowhere in pretickulure!!!!

But so long as the hoop-rolling villain (for adults such an action on first offense is punishable by the freezone chair, a supposedly more humane executional butt-rester) -- unless his familial representatives have paid for their Annual Get Out of Jail Free Card, sponsored by Milkton Bradiddley Co. of Cleverland and the Get Out of Jail Free Card card physically produced by the guilty partier at  the next Skunkville County Bored of Commishioners' meeting... In witch case there is no punishment, even to the usually adult buyer of the possibly catas-trophy-winning hoop...

The hoops popping out from any and all directions at unpredictable times of the day and night and the worstest of times for the drivers... Political enablers secretly side-funded by the safety-minded hooples who make the hoops, seeing them as a way of generally retarding the speed and thus reducing rather than increasing the number of motorists in collisions --  and hoopgawking highwaypeepers (usually not the same people as the ones who create the wild action with their in-yo-headlights hoop rolls,  who like to hide and watch the NAStyCAR like action, ketching the action as up close and personnelle as possible, including those who like the nut-grinding activity of 'riding the median'... Bringing their nut grinder with them or other kitchen wurk in which they then engage while also thrilling to the roaring, careening, pollution-laden, screaming, squealing action from jest feet away, mebbe jess inchers aways, as they saddle up on a median section as theirs*!!  PUNISHABLE BY A $100,000 FINE AND A MINIMUM OF TEN YEARS OF HARD ROCK-BREAKING LABOR....

Median-mounted Hoophawkers raving... It makes YOO feel as if YUR goin' 100 MPH yerselves....like a ground-based supperman, racin' home to brang Lois Lane Violation her din-din and a buttle of fein wein!!!!

Meanwhile Skunkville TV Channel Safety 96 repeatedly shows videos that hula hoops pose absolutely no more threat to drivers or cars than a cute but expendable rabbit or a little bird running across the highway...unless the driver responds in fear!!  Inspector Krench has been at the lead on a) developing technology, now completed, for any child or adult sensed to be in 100' of a highspeed multi-lane highway WITH a hula hoop to be knocked cold by a harmless satellite BRAIN BLAST... Which have some real drawbacks as far as innocent people who happen to be walking near a highway with a hula hoop used for pristine, original hula hooping and not for creating evil highway hell. 

 
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