Skunkville Saga

A quirky elderly Ohio couple & their two talking, married daschunds have many thrilling and bizarre but warm-hearted adventures. Over 100,000 direct reader visits on Delphi. Networking + other sites have added much readership equivalent to Delphi's

The later lives of iconic residents in a nondescript American town. This blog novel currently has close to 2 MILLION words served up as 1,500 nail-biting quick-reading hard-laffing episodes, the 2,000,000 words more than ANY OTHER easily-obtainable novel. KIRKUS REVIEWS (see review on Kirkus site) compares SKUNKVILLE to the works of literary giants James Joyce, Thomas Pynchon, and John Barth. SKV Has attracted 100,000 reader visits to date just on THIS site, plus an even greater amount of readership on other sites.

The Knocker at the Doorer UPGRADED

Walt: 'With every step...except this last one....I'm kitching up to you, you Tom Eldertormentor who will soon be locked behind bars -- without beertaps!'

There is a knock at a door in the Brown's house as shirtless, shiftless, unzipped Walt barrel-rolls away from Edna where they were making out on the coutch --  BAM! Walt, a real man, smacks right dab down onto their hardroot floororer,  

fortunuttely, its roots seems to have softened -- as Edna and Wult could be said to have -- over the years  and years and years   and decades   and millenia   and phases of the Earth's cooling off from a red ball of intoxicating  halvah to today's relatively mild 105 in the summer to -10 or so in the winter type of seasonal moodswings, perhaps caused by the moonswings in orbit, which of course is the main cause of the timing of women's menstrudel cycles...  Did you know the Man in the Moon chews OxBxT gumbo (x's because we might be sewed by DexFx for any brxnd advxrtisinx on this Phorum)? 

'I'm still coming you know!' elderly Walt Brown promises in a deep baritomb as he crashes down onto, and now squirts across the living room florer ('OW!... YOU KNOW THET HERTS...AND NO MOR SQUIRTING fer these bee's knees!').....Walt rolling rolling rolling keeps his doagies rollin' twarts the knocking frontal dorer. 

Walt: 'That door has a bad-sounding knocker to it, like my old Plymouth usedto have!', as he continues 'barrelling', but abruptly now very slowly, perhaps jest a few or one or two paneful revoablutions per minit, now inching almoset imperceptubbily twards(?) the frunt walldoorf.

Edna cries out now frum the counch where she has been sitting, as she tosses a rolleo of terlet papero that hits the frunt dorer and bounces back twards the now crawling at 'Scout's Crrawwwlling in Place Pace'.... But immobile imAL Welt snatches up the proferred rolleo o' toity paperol and begins gnawing on it as he suddenly refueled surges tward the door with some crawl-sprinting action.

Gruft voice now fading frum the outside of the frunt dwar:  'Never mind, ye old fools, I've leffet!!  'N I wuz invizzible to begin wit, so ye hain't mistleltowed anythang yit!' The voice now reseeding in the distance 'Never mind, ye old fools, I've leffet!!  'N I wuz indyvisible to begin wit, so ye hain't mistleltowed anythang.... yep!'

Ednaimmediatelyaddsina 'So ye've left eh??  We'll see if yer rite abit thit!'

With that Edner cartwheels right past her essentially frozen/immobile uncrawling, panting, gasping, shaky, wobbelly incoinheretic hubby (Walt gaspingk: 'Whoa...duz my belly ever hert!).... And Adna uses the farce of her hard-rollin' high school coolnobody's fool cartwheel to smesch thru the frunt dor likeshe wuz a circular buzzsawet and liket the frunt door wuz made of used TP and she quickly is parallel to the shaking, retreating misteerious limping, growling, claw-handled, fire-breathing, poisson-distribution fart-leavings  Nocker at the Dor.

Walt, starting to slowly roll along as the other two dissolve like an Alkie Seltzer into the distance:  'Edna!!  Are yuh crazee girl?  Don't Virgnia Dare to take on thet skinripping buzzsawman withoot mine halp and coaching.... Hold back, gurlie...  Wait for a Real Man to assistance yer lovelrly damnself in distressed!!


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