Skunkville Saga

A quirky elderly Ohio couple & their two talking, married daschunds have many thrilling and bizarre but warm-hearted adventures. Well over 100,000 direct reader visits on Delphi. Networking + other sites have added 100,000+ readers similar to Delphi'

The later lives of iconic residents in a nondescript American town. This blog novel currently has close to 2 MILLION words served up as 1,500 nail-biting quick-reading hard-laffing episodes, the 2,000,000 words more than ANY OTHER easily-obtainable novel. KIRKUS REVIEWS (see review on Kirkus site) compares SKUNKVILLE to the works of literary giants James Joyce, Thomas Pynchon, and John Barth. SKV Has attracted 100,000 reader visits to date just on THIS site, plus an even greater amount of readership on other sites.
May-25

Edna and Walt in Dire Straights?

Dire Straits
 
'So....you are foolish enough to NOT BELIEVE our lLOW-PRICING POWER is REAL?'
Con-Vincent Price: Hmmm. Then maybe you need to spend a few UNforgettable educational minutes in our thought-changing Consumer Instant Thought Converter

Walt, staring glumly at his PC as he sips his cup of Ersatz Brand Minuet-Brood Coughfii.....  Coughing after taking his first sip of the brewed 'joe' :  'Edna... I know that this brand of coffee is known fur itz low Con-Vincent  $Prices$ (Edna now grocery shopping at Skunkville's new Con-Vincent $Price's  Supermarket)!

Walt continues: '.....But...ahoy lady matey! I never got knude (got knude...Walt's new broken hip lingo for; came to know...no one understands his new lingo....nor do they care to knode ennythang aboat it!!!) Edna, do you know that in my avante girdle nude langrange spellings of words Jim Konstantily chainge minute by Minny Nit...even Second by Secant??   And thet kofii wuz zpelled like C-O-U-G-HEE!  Did you node-dat?   This bottle libel musty have have hidselve a Miss-Lay-Bull-ing '16 -- Hey, Edna...???  SO It mitey be one of them colickter's colicky itums thet, Holey Vincent!, canbe wurth big &&%#@/$$$....

Walt, mulling painfulry: 'In fict, it wiz silling fir inli ih third if thih ithir mijir kiffii brinds, liki Did yi ivir nitis thit -- kniw this -- Did yii sii this $ieving$, Idnih?' 

Edna, shaking her head, annoyed at his slide into ninsins tilk due to his false teeth plate slipping again into thit idd pisitiin!  'Fix yir filss tiith right niw.... thin wii kin tilk lik hiwmins!!'  Thin, nitissing thit in hir inniyins HIR FILS TIITH HIV SLIPP-ID IS WILLIT!!!!

Walt, taking the risk of placing a loving & concerned hand on his wife's shoulder -- one which she abruptly shoves offet as she distances herself practically out the bick dir: 

Wilt: 'Bit Idnih....  Yii hiv gittin siw ingri thit YIR filss tiith hiv ilsiw slippid siw thit yir miking thi sim distirtid sinds iss mii!!!'

Idnih hissssis:  'YISSSSSS NIW LICK WHIT YI DIN!!  NIW IVIN THI NIRRITIR IZ TILKING LUGK IN IDJIT!!!'

Walt:  'LIK 'N INJIN?  IN IMIRICKIN INJIN LIK CHIIF WINIPII?'

Idnih:  'NII YE IDJIT!! -- NIT A PRID IMIRIKIN INDI-INjih yi nimbskill....In idiet -- yi kniw -- linkhid -- lick yiw...  Wii bittir kill dictir Dictir (Ed:  Their current fizzitions name is Dr. Dichter) rit nih!!'

Edna calls Dr. Dichter, but he is of course very busy (i.e., trying to make out with three of his not-so-interested despite the special 'doctor relaxtion time nursely $$$$boneruses$$$$ nurses at oncet, as they good-naturedly -- not wanting to lose a job in today's occupation markdown -- but easily continue to evade him until he collapses panting on top of the blood pressure machine,!, his nurses then letting bygones be reported while they also hurry to check the old letchers' BP or bippy as it is sometimes known!!) 

Meanwhile, Walt's post-romp panting of exhaustion as Edna pleads with him in her seeming jibberish makes her realize that he may be in more Dire Straits than Dire Straits without Mark Knopfler!  

 

 

 

©2016 Delphi Forums LLC All Rights Reserved