Walt: 'You see, Edna, if we put this clock in the freezer, we will live FOREVER...assuming we can keep paying our electric bill and keep the fridge running despite it's age!'
Edna: 'I think yer full of YNW, but jest in caset, let's freeze this cluck too...!!!
Walt: 'Timed STOPPED ALRIGHTY, but I'm freezin'!! How do we jumpstart time again, Edna? Edna?? Probably over at her boyfriends Mansion!!
Hi Walt I am yer designated friend for eternity.. Do you like Scrabble?? It's all we got here
Walt: 'I don't care what you say, Edner... There's somethin creepy 'bout thet Weeb!!
Walt, his reading glasses perched on his nozzle, studiously perusing the latest edition of his recently-foundled weighty, scholarly Skunkville Weekly Review & Summation, then stepping out on his front deck to face the gradually collectorating press including fotogs and Foghats...
Let's pick up Wults' dazzling, enticing, but when all is said and done, inscrutable, opaque, self-eviscerating, head-ache-inducing, complete-b.s. comments to the Greater World beyond Maple Ave., Skunkville, Ohghi-o.....as resembled by the above-mentioned meat ee-yah!
'Blawogs simply being thoughts that readers or homely isolated individuals like meselves occasionally cough up, often involuntarily, like choking on a peanut you ate an hour ago but lodged at the Peanut Inn in yer throte until something...a cofff...a sneeze....a slap in the back by neighbur Jack,,,,a tumble or rumble down the steppes.....SETS IT FREE TO CHOKE YE
.But by exploring via your micro-spies the far reaches of enuff human braines OR MOOT-ALTERING SUBSTANCES that the findings of yer rambling musings begin to interact with one another so as to become to yer brane highly INTOXICATING ...As so often happenstance leads to the greatest disco-veries?!, our brainwhich formosa people are said to have a nearly infinite content storage and categorization capabilities: while the single, simple, integrating or disintegrating unglued then re-linked thoughts, tho' at pre-auto-blog level -- and especially when carressed or hoodwinked into fully comprehendo directdump or fusiondump.....to bye two radically different idees, ideas, or notions being assimilated into modular state, profound YET! understandable by 97 % 0f all current earthlings when adequately translated....NOT TWISTED & ALTERED as, say, world governments like to do it, to 'suppress discontent, dyspepsico, dis & dat, disgruntiement,
Anomalous WIRLD LITER 'keep everybudy thinking they're happy', 'pulling the steel wool over the eyes of all but the hundred or so most elite and powerful/influenzatial beings on URTH ... Of course the handful of Big Boys in the ANCIENT werld allowed True Power spread everywart across the human race. most every humanoid, some hominids, and turning many of the great apes into the legit power brokers...of thet earlier era... Fortunately, nut fax knowne to enny of the general pubic!.
While, as predicted by the visionary Mark Mothersbaugh and other members of the de-evolutionary movement into the jocko homo state .... Terms that may take years at a University like Stanford or Harvard or Greasy Snackwell State or Cottage Say Cheese U, to even begin to precisely define whut we are revealing here for people who understandably have Faith No More (at least in governments)..
Thus, the highly individualistic but refined and meaningful blogulazation of Reality is like a set of an ininite numbler of thick, hot, Encyclopedia Brittainica Shields entries on every imaginable topic and many bizarre and unimaginable...but of great theoretical value.....the very Frontier of Human Notion Integration.....and as likely to be as or more brilliant for an ordinary average-IQ dodo as for Albert Shinetsine, supposedly the most intelligent person of the world at this time (BULLETIN: Albert Shinestine has just accidentally been murdered while power brookers of a known United Nations Country trying to translate all his billions of words of thought from birth 'til nowet into English, so that the Mars-based AllSeeingAllKnowing computer can crunch it all down into a small bumber of easily stated, simple to understand sentences which even 7th graders can understand at a glance.....
'Edna, here's one for you.... How many blogghhhkkkkss...urk!' (Walt choking up some deep congestion into his waiting room, i.e., mouthet) and grabbing for his I Luv Loosies handkey out of his beck sprocket, which is what he culls hiz right-side rear back pocket on the back of his pants)....as opposed to his 'uther' or 'spare' pocket, which is the left rear 'fzzzzzzt!' puckett)...excusez me-eh...eh!..... but how many of those blawggle things that I said do you think there are existing or stuck in the World Wide Webbing? ........You know, Edna,,,, I can just see a joyous Spiderwebman speeding smooth as silk across the Web, swinging from one bllaaagghhhurk splut! to another bllaaagghhhurk splut! and on and on fer hours jest for Websercise. Now if I tried thet it would be more like ugh! retch!!...kofffkoff...flaaagggh!.....sppppuulllatttttski)...... Excuze me, dear, Walt apologizes, yanking his needs-cleaned fave handky out of his right back pants puckets, panting from the almost overwhelming exercise of describing Spidey and then Wult swinging across the Internet with their sticky squirts of webbing etc. Then he timidly begins his li'l cleanup activity....
Edna, who alertly reacted to the beginning of Walt's first gag by dragging the ironing board and her needs-ironed wash basket back 10 feet, almost into the kritchen... I mean What a girl! Let's all stand up in front of our PC's (or printouts, as we know that many readers do download Skunkville and send copies of the better episodas out to friends...or mebbe thar enemas, if they are trying to confuse' em!) and give Edna en masse, writer & readers, a well-deserved standing O!!
Edna now sternly approaches Walt, as Walt shivers inwardly, knowing whatever accusations she makes will be right on the ol' button...He: Walt Brownet....dreg.........loser.......wife-gooser...........all day snoozer.....expert recliner.....occasional whiner........ cruiser......snake........grumbler...........stumbler..............crumbler.....TV
zombie....chair breaker.....heart-acher......fatigue/disease faker.....girl ogler....mind boggler,,,,,missing link.....pits/fxrts that stink....rinky-dink.....scheming fink......low-bottem......teeter-tottem.....crotch-player....butt-patter.....pocketpool afficianado.....dirt-spreading toronahdo.....lazy boner....girl-watch honer.... excuse cloner....king of the stinky throner....
And liverwurst of all, writer of The little-read, much-despised, self-incriminating Skunkville Saga. No place for Hyde to hide his hide, when on a blog he does abide.....as he continues his endless slide....hoping home plate is some form of heaven....even for one as undistinguished as him....
When his wifet speaks, it skids over mulling Walt's bald head, the sound waves appearing from his vantage point to be heading out the open side winder, knocking a couple of flies momentarily back out their hole in their screen twards the neighborely McTwittersby's home tweet home (Walt grinning)... where Mr, McTwittersby pauses without apparent reason during his recital of grace for a large family dinner -- staring off into the distance, a vision of his ancient but still spry & pretty enough to usuarly take a second look at neighbor Edna Brown, married to the chubby neighborhood dunce WALT who probably tops all neighborhood dunces citywide, countywide, statewide, countrywide, continentwide. worldwide, duncemaster: next door nay! brer; Walt Brown.
Then there is silence while Edna ketches her emotional breath after lambasting Wult without knowing she also jest hammered the easy-going, nosey, neighborly McTwittersby's poppa.. Then finally she begins, in a wavering voicet.....'W-Wa-Wal-Walt..... You n-ne-nee --
'Need!' Walt guesses!
Walt, rubbing his bald head to create some brain friction and a good, winning answwer in this gamet!'
Walt, trying to get into Edna's groove" which seems a little bit softer now, a little bit softer now....'should I stay or should I go', he stabs as she annoyedly shakes her head at that lame gusset.
Walt, still attenpting to get into Edna's groove" even a little bit softer now, a little bit softer now....'
Now, in my on-site position in the hallway where Walt's Uncle Wiggly, or whatever that harmless psycho's name is/wuz, hid for 73 years, the air-headed Browns never realizing that he was staying at their own houset....Regretting all the while how he never visits, calls, or writes since he departed... as he can see by the motions of Walt and Edna that the two antagonists, but certainly of the luvving, inviolent kind of 'foes', are repeating each other ever more quietly, well below the round heavy black 2- or 3-finger- holed deciballs required to bowl over the scillia in the human ear and create the audial illusion of soundet....!! Harry (my gopher), psssst!!... Wake the xxxk up you idiot!! Go grab the parabolic reflector from the truck.... that might make them at least barely audibile... Then looking back at the Browns...me and my colleague hug each other almoss like we're tangled in mutual athletic supporters!!
Both of us shaking like leafs from all this strangeness, and the now seemingly near-immobile Browns, perhaps jest 5 feet apparutt but seemingly frozen in space...
I whisper: 'Hairy... Push the manly curly hair cuvvering yer wutch face 'n let me see the time....'
'Hairy': 'Look boss.... It seems not to be moving a 'tall.... Like its stopped dead....like us....look how stiff we are standing, not even moving...not even breathing...
'Fxck you, you panic promoter, you guy yelling fire on a crowded, shapely bust... As usual, trying to drivel me crazy!!'
'Yeah...but chick it out boss...now the watch is not stopped but 'tiz starting to slowly go backyerd...feel yer breathin and yer blood flo agin' but the udder way then we're used ter...Tell me everything t,nsi gnitruts ot og gnixxxf drawkcab!!!'
'!!EMIT OT TILPS'
'Ladies second....which means in this continuum....ladies fursszzzt, Ms. Boz.... But we both male anyway, the Ms. wuz just anuther crack in the Wall...
But I try to reach fer my zipper to refute him despite whut it sez abuv, but find I am fruzzen... Heh heh... It's jest a panic reaction....I just need to relax.....That's right......relex.....T h a t ' s r i g h t......r e l e x.....T h a t ' s r i g h t......r e l e x.....as his panicky coworker begins to chime in, his brain, but not hiz mouth mumblin 'Chime in time iz.....at the chime.....'Chime in time iz.....at the chime.....'Chime in time iz.....at the chime it twill surely be........ chime time.....0:00