Skunkville Saga Rumination

Unusual adventures & awkward situations & miscommunications seem to plague and/or delight an elderly couple who seem to know how to roll with the punches

The later lives of iconic residents in a nondescript American town. This blog novel currently has 2 MILLION words served up as 2,000 nail-biting quick-reading hard-laffing episodes, its 2,000,000 words more than ANY OTHER easily-obtainable novel. KIRKUS REVIEWS (see review on Kirkus site) compares SKUNKVILLE to the works of literary geniuses James Joyce, Thomas Pynchon, and John Barth. SKV Has attracted ~110,000 reader visits to date just on Delphi, plus an equally large number of additional readers on a diversity of other sites now no longer relied on by Skunkville.
12/7/17

ChristmasDrawsNearer for Browns mo mo mo

As Billy, the  HollowDay Sea Son's (a naughtickle term for handsome, buff unimaginativical perfection-seeking yhung males who are lovers of themshelves and rearview mirrors and & Billy Oceanic musick asswellas American LeadGents Solderers of Yore like George LinconTtin, who soldered tugaffer the USA  and the Plastic Clans back/splash  O A R  while ignoring Grover Groover  & hisssss Fat P?itch(?r)es!?  ('Yes friend....Lemme inshort yu.... today's man sheiks out wimmen by the POUND!!!   That's right guyzers & eyezores....Today's studdly male con-oh?sore/sure!....I Gues  z....

Dasterdly  Otter S     p     a     c          e oversneerer-er Ming the Marvelous (I meen askle Fash Gorton about enemy of all humanz >>Mingk!!.... whose fantastic earth-disrupturing POWers oft-10 have distempurred the o-shun into being a huge multi-subject warshing machine of for mal de hydes.... ruinating clothse asswell aa sexy disches and their (gr)oaners' cloavhes....Oilso adz the resulking Overflowers Sauciety  thet have conkered many former underwater hideouts and screwed up the expandling maneland AND THE MAINE MAN  asswelllas seafarting sailors en roote 'n  toot 'n tootheir desk-inn-ation -- asswell as slopPILLly overflud its largesse booties of watter oar sum-times septles awn or saddles Doc Ock aka now si9mply as Do.ck YouPied?land to hoe & moe & show &crow about  NOWorSOONERyet Land  jist jist waiting & prayering to be bought & made fame-us az AMOS!!.....Nowfinally  settled & kettled after thousands of lonely yearers and lonely tearers all the while dying to be Home and History to the giant insectoid-like  intently Auntenta-PEERING EYE-Glands that have ack-ack-ackwired then for millions & bullions...No more shimmering mist-hhearses & mist-horses (misses unmarried & unharried having 'missed oute on the endearing or ensneering  companionshipaszon... THIS climactickle hey?day? Ffor many but not all Skunkvillian sea sams & sea sues.....Christmas' Santa's Claws (soft claws, of courass!) ever closer and closer to compleating his gift assignments & re-sippyent disappointmints...now its onto SERIUS/XM  de-LIVER-ing (for -- wishlisters who were incensed with last year's liver bombardment this year (E.G., CALF OR  COWS) any Santa seen being droppedoff....) them to youth who had them (Santa: 'Many caring Christmas givers wrap up a seemingly nice piece of steaming calve's liver in tasteful neither calve NOR chick hen but rather avant gourde Joe's Barf Bar wrapping paper in order to fool (Ffall Hen) ARCHIE's or Ver Onickler's  surrepticiously creep like ghosasts,(i.e. spookey frends)  up to drop off their IMPORTENT holiday duty at their friends' or recently fallen (in pop.) anguished ARCHIE's  frunt doorer....of course guarding the sea livers as long as they can-can.....kicking away at any hovering predators such as drunken hobozos who were hanging nearby their home  and routing any normally civilized, effluent non-hobo -- but on this seasonal occasion also routing booze-crazed inebriated neighborhood scum while giving them a standarde letter of offer that they stick on the drunken young bozo's chesticle....  Then after DROPOFF COMPLEATED: RETURN HOME IMEDIANLY!!7.... The red-faced (just like Santa!) joyful, Beaming livergivers -- perhaps sharing a Miller UltraLight...... and then some deep plunges into a full gallon of Jim Beam as they hustle back to their nayborehood's merry  XMas Eve Scene,  each struggling to gain momentary control of the ahared Beam for sum heady gulps of 'Jim' to 'celebate' their suckcesspool gift drop-off or whatever it was (flowers to old ladies (35plus), seegars to old men who ent them out on this chilly night to be Knights in Shining Armour-All, as they now have no memory of their signing their wives' PROMISE LIST of XMas Do's and Don't's.... Instead alternating taking long pulls on a galloon of Jim BEAM -- during their ever more harrowing on-road/off-road bumper-busting wild course through what was once (i.e.,an hour ago)  a dull evening that now seams destined to be unforgetable murderous chugging of half a quart of Jim Beem then hightailing it in Old Bessy (their family car) to their next liver-loving non-drinkcurse house to try to force sum booze and blues and tomorrow's bad newz on them...  Vut vof chorous stopping far short of actually tying a guy down with his mouse forc-ed opin to de-liver hiz manhood (for the dopes who rilly beleaf that drinking brain flattening & fattening booze will make soneone a man...you know, a REAL MAN.....who shxts in his pants, powerbarfs on bystanders, treats girls as something to cruelly squeeze, who cannot speak coherently, and will wreck his car if he tries to  drivel anywhere? in it...etc,     .... The Brown family -- Perennially Lovely Edna Brown, endlessly patient wife of  idiot-eek! bungholing  hubby 'Wallet' Brown...  A man as good-natured as a man can be....Buttwhose attimps at kindlenuss and chair > itity -- fizzle out and  anything con struck-tiv he DUZ -- is loft hen Papts to misfire expire.... or highwire--then go crashety!... or dis appear with no fartwarting ah...dress! 

Thus despite Walt's ingenuity engine-annuity, and hiz natural and searing desire to be loving and helptful and fair  twards his fell-hole Mannixes & vixhens ('Well, we all fell into this hole together -- and let me ventilate my gusset and reveal my vealroast end admitt thet it's my bungholeng & occashunilly buldgeng wallwet that we failed --  so at least  let me do the durty werek to HELP! us git oote of this messs...unless ye deem me not safe fur any servhorse wattsoever....Only seaming to be as able as Mable  to juicet sit quietly in my elder-bumpkin hazylazydecliner and await the finach & the spinach!    

Pore ex'am'pleh: Walt:  woman or man!!  Hubby Walt Brown is a good-denatured but genuinely goofy poison whoot is as hard-to-swall-ow! and harder yit to mentally foll-ow!  Yeti...his trait is NOT AT OIL Walt's intention!!  End this is justice  true when he is speaking a la carte person or dramactickly simulating his voice on the Belly telly  in person as anyman Convincently Can-Be....Yet despite Walt's honest, sinsearing attempts to be clear, horets'nest, and construcultattative.... Well, yes, Walt's real-world performance on intended goodly actions, despite determined, wrenching,pure, DEVOted effarts on Walt's parts to do the very best he can for his fellowed man or woman or child or other creation of God -- in their actual results (asz opposelled to the INTENTCONVENTIONmisguidled effarts (def. large effart: i.e, Extreme, devoted, diligent, explosieve effort that leaves supposed benificiaries to effart shaking their heads as they hold their noses  Walt gassily- and enervejetically-releasinglstrained to achief  as pitiful as ConVincentAsCanBe that as a cumpleat Ditz Fogged-In man canbe...  And when events inevitably begin to wildly unravel, you canbe nearly certain that Walt is within close to moderate proximity to the unmitigated disasterd of whatever good seems to be in his pill-grins progress turns out to be so magnificently hapless, well-meaning, but seemingly cursed to destruction...Anuther gaudy disaster.... Neighbors regularly slyly whispurting in each other's horns when they see one anuther.... Moe: 'Hey, Joe!!  Good noose....I've lined up an experienced, ice-coled, conscience-free hangman who says he can have goodnatured Brown swinging back & forth within ten minnits frum when he first lays hands on this disruptive Skunkville Curse...  No need for any legit authorities (if there are any...heh heh....) to be in the know of our town- and state and country and world-IMPROVING  X-OUT OF BROWN


    
 
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