Check out this lovely, practical, durable K-Mart Forecast Merlot Barbados 4 Piece Luggage Set: just $79.99 at participating stores!!
Scruffy playing with his favorite dog Scruffy an hour ago
Mama Gooma: 'Mama Gooma predict meeting tonight have shocking surprise. Take 3 extra heart pill.'
Jenkins, deplaning: 'That crazy guy sitting next to me on the plane....Really messed up my head, rattled me....I hope the meeting with Mr. Scruffy still goes okay! Or my goose is grass'
Inside a more upscale J.C. Nickel's store...
Penney's Classic $39.99 Stafford Blue Seerssucker Suit: What a bargain! What a suit!!
So as the Fokker makes a nice, smooth landing on the rather short landing strip here at the Skunkville Intercountynental Airport, I comment to the man sitting in the seat next to me: 'Well, I guess we're here!'
'Yes, safe and sound!' he replies, seemingly anxious to deplane and forget about the whole event.
'Bad flight for you?'
As he struggles to pull together his belongings: 'Not one of the better ones... Especially with you talking in your sleep the whole time to some Devil Doll!'
'Oh, I guess I imagined that... But I could swear it really happened... Didn't you see that rusty little talking doll sitting on my lap,chatting, the richest being on this world?'
'According to whom?' he replies, ripping one of his bags out of my hand, which I see in fact was his... I was probably attracted to its genuine cowhide leather and superior overall look and feel..
He snarls at me: 'Do you know that you were 'accidentally' starting to walk off with a key component of my Longchamp's 4 X 4 Leather Luggage Set?'
'An honest mistake, I assure you... But then why do you have my lightweight K-Mart Forecast Merlot Barbados 4 Piece Luggage Set dangling from your arms and hands? Do you know that set set me back $79.88... When I realized I needed to have some luggage to make my disguise as a top-flight business executive more plausible....'
'Top flight?? Since when?? And yes, I was appalled at the disrepute involved just from sitting next to you!!' He says, pushing my cheap, lightweight/empty set of luggage back into my arms -- while he crudely rips his lovely, sturdy but lighweight bags out of my reluctant paws. Just holding them and breathing in the scent of their genuine Corinthian leather had actually been making me high on dreams of grandeur!
At this point, I couldn't help jabbing: 'Probably sitting next to a man in my $39.99 J.C. Penney Seersucker Suit didn't make you feel very comfortable either?' As he gazes horrorstruck at my suit for the first time, having ignored me for the entire trip, facing the other way... Also, just then, a handsome, tanned, silvered-hair man, probably his boss, comes up behind him in the aisle.
My poor ex-seatmate suddenly begins to turn white as his shirt, as if he is about to sink towards the floor, melting from appallor multiplied by embarrassment plus abject fear of contagion or some other kind of sinister/indelible/eternal rub-off effect from being anywhere near moi et mon bagages!
'Jenkins... Jenkins!!' cries this new exec, likely his boss, based on his sleek grey hair and seasoned confidence: 'Jenkins, you numbskull: We have to keep moving... Didn't I tell you we're an hour late already for our meeting with Mr. Scruffy, one of the leading entrepreneurs of booming Skunkville... I mean his kind of canine-looking Brit, this 'Scruffy', is a good-humored, down-to-earth kind of ultra-rich, brilliant fellow...just the kind I like! But he doesn't tolerate nonsense and irresponsbility! I've heard he's even been known to bite or at least snap at people on occasion!!'
Just then, Scruffy himself patters onto the plane, accompanied by his paramour, the uncanny fortune teller of Skunkville, Momma Gooma: 'Hey, old chaps... We thought we'd climb on board ourselves and see what happened to you fine folks.... Can we help you with your luggage? And Wilson, who is your other colleague in the Seersucker suit?? I thought just two of you were coming! But wow! What a classic piece of apparel he is wearing...I'm so glad that he's with you, whatever his role... I just bought three of those Suckers myself yesterday at J.C. Nickle's... It's J.C.Pennies' upscale store for avante garde cities like Skunkville and Manhattan!'