Skunkville Saga Rumination

Unusual adventures & awkward situations & miscommunications seem to plague and/or delight an elderly couple who seem to know how to roll with the punches

The later lives of iconic residents in a nondescript American town. This blog novel currently has 2 MILLION words served up as 2,000 nail-biting quick-reading hard-laffing episodes, its 2,000,000 words more than ANY OTHER easily-obtainable novel. KIRKUS REVIEWS (see review on Kirkus site) compares SKUNKVILLE to the works of literary geniuses James Joyce, Thomas Pynchon, and John Barth. SKV Has attracted ~110,000 reader visits to date just on Delphi, plus an equally large number of additional readers on a diversity of other sites now no longer relied on by Skunkville.
3/31/14

NARRATOR HIDES AWAY, SEEKS NEW MATERIAL

'VELCOME, LADIES & GENTLEMAN, BOYS & GIRLS...I'M SO HAPPY U COULD ALL BE NEAR TONITE!'

So, tiday I am hidin in the shower like that guy in that movie Psychoke, Author 'Itchcock, or whatever his Brit handell was...  I figger this is as good a place ass any to be spyin and recordin', per my job prescription.... But I dun bean in hereyet for a lung time with not even a gurly plip or plop t' report home to ya, whur I'm shure u been checkin the blugsite every hour o' two2 to see if any new posts hed cleared waivers and werhere furyu toreed... 'N speekin' o' Urcher Hitchincock.,,,mann o mann meballs are retchin' lack they're in the poison Ivy Leak, fer gootnus sakes.  Woot one of youse mates stop by the gurls half-caved in shxthole here in Scrxtxmviile (see, they dernsized the name) Ohighey...you cxn't miss it, or me name aint Joe Skumwhole, the most dee-sgusting guy in NW SE Ohioey!!  I've been ye frendilily nurrator all obdese years, buts I hidd mine disgusterness behiney hole my floury King's siz cundom sack anglais usage.  But now'n as I retch old agedness, Me finds I no lunger kin kep up the charaped, the disguistse...Now me bestial beginnin's and heribadge is squeezin aut thru meese bunghole n'mauter how hurd I try to stoppen eet!!

Then suddenly I hear someother abominasaltion talkin' sickening gootly worts behinds me bunghole!

'Please, dear sir.  I came to your aid as soon as your story started appearing slowly, word by word, on the Skunkville Saga sight, one of my congregations favorite cyber-hangouts, although I must say, just because of material like you are currently spewing out and is somehow falling in their hands to reprint as it happens, the sober, hopeful, cleanliness = godliness -- the healthy faction of the local population may being mildly polluted by your vile ranting and raging and spewing... Excuse my negative description of your creative but still devilish prose of one of the most offensive kinds!'

'Here, minister, have a Hump with me...to help us one more tiny step towards the Cauldroon of Hell that we devilishly seek!'

'Oooooh.  You have indeed tetched me in a tender, vulnerable place.... How I used to love to go outside at night after a day's hard labor -- before mine ministry -- and slowly enjoy one of these Camels.... Not to suggest any bestiality was occurring at any time!'

'So take one and enjoy, Man of the Cloth...  We all must have some sin, or else we we would risk outdoing or at least metching god hemself...Of whom I no longer have any valu of any worth after all of my years of sinking deeper and deeper into filth and degradtion...'

'And that's where you would have me follow you, my friend?  To what advantage for us or anyone esle??'

That made me think in me foggy mind for a moment -- for far longer than that, actually, I think....Because this man was still basically healthy of mind and body, not nearly as deep into depravity and evil thoughts and passions as I was.  Truly, the deevel himself was now onboard me, had taken a First Class seat, and would soon make a move to highjack the plane and take me and all my evil, unholy brethern to some 'Better' (More Horrid/Deparved/Evil Place with him...  No way we could let that happen!'

'Is this blog now turning inta sum kinduh religious programming?' A thurd voice asked us, from not far away.

'WHO ARE YE?'  we both asked in unison, like angels singing, my scummish rattle providing the nasty basso to the good fellow's alto.

'JEST A TEEPICAL REEDER AT THESE LOCATION.  ONE WHO LIKES GOOD TAIL AND A GOOD TALE.  BUT IS BASICALLY GOD-FEERIN', GOD-LOVIN', PEOPLE-LOVIN', fFULLA CHARITABULL!'

'But can you be basically good, god-fearin', people-lovin' without distancin' yerselvers some way from Mankind, who carry the disease of evil and hatred?' I ask my new friend.'

 

 
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