How To Know What
Needs To Be Changed
As
I said in an earlier post, this is a very difficult question for most
of us, and often it seems very obvious to others. In truth, it
usually is the case that others are as mistaken as we are ourselves.
I know that sounds rather confusing and paradoxical, but bear with me
and see if I can explain what I mean.
I
am an alcoholic, I became one in Alcoholics Anonymous. Prior to
participating in the AA way of life, most people would have
described me as a problem drinker. It took quite a bit of work and
a number of years for me to
get past the
problem drinker stage and become a full fledged alcoholic.
I was 46 years old when I got a DWI (or DUI) and wound up in jail,
lost my drivers license, and the best job I had ever had. Along with
those inconveniences I also ended up paying lawyer fees and fines
associated with the DWI. All told with the loss of the job, fines
and fees it probably cost me about ten grand ($10K).
It seemed pretty clear to my employer, my ex-wife and the legal
system that what I needed to do was change my behavior by ceasing to
drink (and drug). That was the problem and the solution was obvious
to everyone, except me.
I had lots of problems: job problems, legal problems, transportation
problems, kid problems, time problems, etc. and now I had to go to
these stupid alcoholism education classes too. They were stupid
because I had already decided to stop drinking when I bought a
beer after getting out of jail and made the connection that there was
some relationship between drinking and my getting into a lot of
trouble.
I'm a pretty bright guy, 130 IQ and I got it. My drinking was
something that had to stop. I didn't have a problem with that. I
never said I was going to never drink again, but I sure wasn't going
to get drunk anymore. Besides weed and a few uppers were enough for
me and I wouldn't miss the Monday morning hangovers.
So if you recall my previous post (dated ), you can see that I
had a pretty good handle on the “When to change?” and “What to
change?” questions – Now and Drinking were the answers there.
The how and why were however not really foremost in my mind yet.
They would however be something I could handle. Remember, I was,
after all, a pretty bright, high IQ, self-aware kind of guy.