RaziWorld

The Life and Times of one Dark Divah

11/21/07

Dear People In My House…

** this is also posted on my fridge this morning**

See that rather rectangular contraption that sits in the corner of the kitchen? That is a dishwasher.
You pick up the dirty dishes, put them in there in an orderly fashion, add detergent, hook it up, turn it on and VOILA clean dishes! There is no such thing as the dish fairy…she doesn’t come and magically clean the dishes while you sleep, but she might start dropping the mounds of dirty dishes on your heads while you do just to get her point across.

When you sit on the toilet I want you to do something for me. Take a look at the wall directly across from you, in line with your knees you will see a shiny silver protrusion from the wall with a black stick going from left to right. That black stick is spring loaded and it comes off. Give it a try the next time you’re in there… when you have that black stick in your hand you should experiment with it and a roll of toilet paper and see just how keenly the roll of toilet paper fits over the stick. Once you have done that, lean into that shiny protrusion and click the black stick back into the place you took it from WITH the roll of toilet paper still on. Now that you’ve done that pull the outermost sheet of paper towards you. See how that works? Amazing I know!!

That loud noise you hear in the early morning while you are trying to sleep? That is a vacuum cleaner…it picks up lint and pet hair and dust and dirt, we plug it into the wall, press the ON button and then steer it over the floors. That’s all there is to it and it takes care of the rest.  Easy peasy isn’t it? Good …now you give it a whirl. It’s also great fun to watch one of the dogs run away and the other try to eat the machine; you are depriving yourselves of a great laugh by not doing this.

Garbage cans get full when you throw waste into them, they, like the dishwasher, are not run by the garbage fairy. Yelling that the bag is full is not going to summon the magical garbage fairy to empty the bin; you must physically take out the full bag and replace it with the empty one. Wednesday is GARBAGE day… That means you take the garbage and recycling to the curb and STOP putting garbage in the recycling bins and recycling in the garbage can…it’s pissing me off!

The grocery fairy only comes on Friday, if you eat everything in the house by Wednesday don’t complain that the grocery fairy didn’t do her job, she did and you are exploiting her good nature. Whining will not make her trek out to the store again, she has told you time and time and time again that she will buy food ONCE a week and only ONCE a week and that you all need to learn portion control and how to think of tomorrow. You’re hungry? Too bad…find thee jobs and contribute then!

 You are 17, 18, 19 and 19 and 21 oh and 40!

 
I QUIT!

~Signed the EVERYTHING Fairy!


 

Comments (3)

   Previous Entries
11/7/11  Little Spaces
3/1/10  WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
1/21/10  Been a While
1/19/09  The Surgical Report.
4/11/08  Bye- Bye Belly!
4/2/08  24 Days and Counting…
3/2/08  Happy Birthday Jools!
3/21/08  Do I LOOK Happy?
3/21/08  Surgical Journey ( Entry 1)
2/19/08  The Typical Delphi Argument…
2/19/08  Blessed Beginnings…
2/19/08  * _*
2/14/08  Mea Maxima Culpa…
2/10/08  Ladies First….
1/3/08  Apologize
3/22/08  Upon My Soapbox...
1/7/08  Erase My Post??
1/7/08  Resolution / Revelation
12/26/07  My Favorite Christmas Carols...
2/10/08  Christmas Joys…
12/25/07  Dear God Mother…
12/17/07  Night Before Christmas.-When I Was Young
12/14/07  True by Ryan Cabrera
12/14/07  Dear Son
2/10/08  And So It Begins…
12/6/07  Blessed...
12/3/07  Holiday Party
12/3/07  Incoherent Babbling...
11/21/07  Dear People In My House…
11/22/07  Random Act of Kindness Challenge…
11/20/07  The Dreaded Pap Smear
2/10/08  Say WHAT?
11/22/07  We Got Our Jeans...
11/19/07  Hiatus, Snow and Other Things
10/21/07  Sunday Morning Cluttered Thoughts....
10/19/07  In The Span of a Breath…
11/22/07  Sister, Sister…
10/17/07  Just a Few Random Thoughts…
10/12/07  Do You Believe?
11/22/07  House Full of Crazy....
10/16/07  Racism abounds…
10/8/07  The Darkness... ( No Not the Band...)
10/6/07  Love Your Inner Bitch…
10/1/07  Random Babble....
10/7/07  Opinion- a personal view, attitude...
9/25/07  Lonely ( A Poem)
9/23/07  Moron (the doctor’s visit)
9/20/07  The Time Has Come... pt 2
9/18/07  The Time Has Come...
9/23/07  One Thing... no, not the song...
9/12/07  I Remember…
9/10/07  Not That Innocent...
11/19/07  I Cried...
8/23/07  For Jack....
8/22/07  Just a Little Contemplation....
8/17/07  A few morning poems...
8/2/07  What Could Have Been...
7/27/07  Blattodea??? JUST GROSS!
7/24/07  Constellations..Axis Point... I Love You
7/21/07  Pulling Out the Aces…
7/20/07  All the Small Things….
7/21/07  Simple Forum Commandments
7/6/07  Thank The Gods for the Rain...
7/17/07  Excuse me but…
11/19/07  SICKO....
6/27/07  RIP Chris Benoit?
6/25/07  Take the Kid to the Damned ER!
6/22/07  Hey Joe? Where’s Kirby?
6/20/07  Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
6/18/07  Me, Myself and I
6/16/07  Dear Patricia
6/17/07  On The Closing of My Forums…
6/14/07  Two of my favorite songs today....
11/22/07  The Prodigal Daughter…
5/1/07  Spring and Other Things...
4/25/07  Worlds Collide…
4/22/07  They Were Dog…
4/21/07  Crude, Rude and Completely Out of Line…
4/20/07  When An Era Ends...
4/15/07  People Put Some Clothes On!
4/14/07  Just Another Day…
4/10/07  Promoting Mr. Pitiful
4/10/07  To all the Gods and Little Fishies...
4/2/07  Dear Neighbor to the left of me
4/1/07  Dear Neighbors…( Social Blunders Style)
2/10/08  Read My Horoscope Today...
3/27/07  Poetry for Women...
3/26/07  I Think That I Shall Cry Today…
3/25/07  Robinhood Fund...
3/24/07  Avalanche! ( A poem)
3/24/07  Going Public….
3/22/07  Prayers for a Friend...
3/17/07  Saturday Prose...(Morning Poetry)
3/15/07  Attention Class…
3/12/07  Hospital Visit…
3/17/07  The Journey Inside of The Journey.
3/8/07  The Rules of (Forum) Engagement
3/12/07  Oh Noez! OMG!
3/2/07  Look Winter…
3/1/07  It Creeps / In You
About the Author
DarkDivah (RaziCichlid)What to say? What to say?
I've been kicking around Delphi since  ohhh about 1999.
I'm an aspiring author and all around nut-job.
I'm a Pagan and my path is wherever my feet happen to take me.
I'm just a little light, just a little dark and a whole lot opinionated.
I'm a free thinker and have no idea whether or not anything I say will be relevant to anyone other than me, but I'm going to say it anyhow.
You can steal my sunshine, but you can't have my thunder.
Blog Entries
Archive>
Calendar
«December 2017»
SMTWTFS
262728293012
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31123456

©2017 Delphi Forums LLC All Rights Reserved