Yesterday, during my drive home, I saw a bumpersticker that read "Real Men Love Jesus". I immediately thought that I, then, was a real man; if the sticker was correct. Because of the traffic and the long, long delays, I started think about what it means to be a real man where Christians, specifically Mormon Christians, are concerned. So this entry will be specifically directed to the men and boys who might stumble across it and read.
I was immediately reminded of a young man known as Abiathar. He was the son of Ahimelech, one of the priests murdered by Saul after he has shown kindness to David by giving him bread from the temple, to eat.
Abiathar was able to escape and took with him one of the ephods worn by one of the 100+ priests slain by Saul in his rage and jealousy.
He ran and found David. David promised he would be safe in his company.
A short time later David asked the young man to put on the ephod, which was likely very large and bulky to the boy, and seek the Lord's counsel as to what his strategy against both Saul's armies and those of the philistines. As part of the ephod, were the urim and thummim.
This young man, no doubt somewhat overwhelmed by the ephod and the responsibility of wearing it, sought God's counsel and led David's small band of rebels to both victory and safety.
This young man eventually became the High Priest of Judah, after David was on the throne and remained loyal to him until David's death.
So, we have a boy who, after watching his king slaughter his father, had the courage and the wherewithal to take the ephod with the urim and thummim and run to the camp of a rebel for safety because he knew the leader of this little band was God's anointed.
I would say that Abiathar was a real man.
Now let's look at a group of "real men" described in 1nd Chronicles 12.
This chapter lists the names and some of the deeds of the men we call David's Mighty men. The entire chapter is an exciting glance at a few real men; but I want to focus on one of the groups mentioned. The sons of Issachar in verse 32. The verse reads:
"And of the children of Issachar, [which were men] that had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do; the heads of them [were] two hundred; and all their brethren [were] at their commandment."
I startles me to think that one of the duties of the real men of Christ, is to have an understanding of the times and to know what we, a remnant of Israel, must to and, I might add, when we must do them.
So what must real men know of our times?
The airwaves are flooded with information. There is never a minute on any day that those with access to television or radio cannot watch something deemed as "news" by those who broadcast it. I think it is not unlike the apocalyptic visions seen by Moses. Elijah and others, where all the catastrophes, both temporal and spiritual in nature are set before us with amazing speed and scope. It's enough to turn an optimist into a cynic. Yet real men in Christ are not cynical. They are hopeful and they are joyful because of what they know with respect to the eternal nature of all things even if the temporal nature is dark and dreary.
Most Christians must rely of the scriptures and the interpretation of scriptures in the form of sermons delivered by mostly well-meaning preachers. They, like us, can rely on the arm of Jehovah to guide them through these last days of trouble and gloom.
As Latter-day Saints, however, we are blessed with a deeper, more critical knowledge which places the mantle of watchmen squarely on our shoulders. Those men of other Christian sects do not hold the priesthood. We do and, in effect, carry the burden of the ephod and its attendant urim and thummim.
We need to first teach our families how to understand the times and lead them in that which they should do. We cannot do that if we are burdened with sins that repel the Spirit.
A few months ago, I sat in a stake priesthood meeting and heard two statistics. The sources of those statistics were named but I don't remember what they were. In any case they were shocking.
1. The state of Utah has more hits to porn sites on the internet, per capita, than any other state.
And:
In the Church, in the United States, one out of every three men participates in pornography at least once a week.
I don't know about you, but to me, those are stunning and tragic numbers.
How can we call ourselves real men in Christ if we are so eager to indulge our lusts? How can we look our sons in the eye and explain the value and necessity of chastity when we are participating in such vile entertainment?
I certainly don't pretend to have the solution to this problems except to suggest that anyone who might be participating in this activity, see his bishop and begin the repentance process.
Real men in Christ do not indulge in pornography.
Another startling fact in the Church surrounds the real sin of spousal and child abuse in all its ugly forms.
The priesthood gives men in the Church more responsibility, not more power over our wives. We must honor our wives, brethren, if we are to gain their respect and merit their love. We cannot honor them if we mistakenly believe we rule over them.
As for our children, can we be justified in our surprise if, after years of shouting, beating or other abuse, they leave the Church? How can we expect them to even seek a personal witness when they witness and are victims of such abuse during their childhood.
Real men in Christ do not abuse their wives or children.
There was an old story going around the Church a few years ago of a conversation between three Aaronic Priesthood boys.
"My dad always gets his Home Teaching done by the last of the month." Donny the Deacon said.
"My dad is better than yours because he always gets his done by the 15th." Tommy, the Teacher answered.
"Well," said Petey the Priest, "my dad has you both beat. He always does his the day BEFORE the first day of the month!"
Rare is the priesthood meeting in the Church where someone doesn't encourage us to do our Home Teaching. Oh, that our only encouragement would be that we do it better!
What good does understanding the times if we don't share that understanding with our friends in the Church? Are we real men in Christ if we hoard the knowledge for ourselves?
The Home Teacher represents the Elder's quorum president or the High Priest group leader, who in turn, report to the bishop. Home Teachers feed the flock, particularly that part of the flock that is wandering on strange paths or stuck alone in some corner of the meadow, alone and afraid.
Real men in Christ do their Home Teaching.
Three years ago President Hinckley issued the challenge to all members of the Church to read the Book of Mormon by the end of that year. The response of the members was overwhelming. In every corner of the world, faithful members cracked open their copies of the Book of Mormon and began reading. For many, even some who had been members their entire times, it was the first time they read the book from cover to cover. For me, the impact was stunning. During that time I saw two friends who had left the Church for various reasons, return and both are not in full fellowship and finding joy in their testimonies once again. After each session of reading, during my prayers, I would ask the Lord to help my friends remember the peace that comes to the faithful.
Certainly others were praying for these people as well, so I can't take all the credit... I really can't take any of the credit. That belongs to my two friends and to God. Still, I think there is a thin thread of a connection.
The one mentionable miracle in my personal life that came from our reading of the Book of Mormon was the closeness I felt to my wife as we read together. I would not have believed I could love her more than I had before our reading. Sharing the scriptures with her, however, made our spirits connect is a way that doesn't generally occur outside of the Celestial Room.
Real men in Christ read the scriptures regularly.
This list could go on and on and should include things like:
Real men in Christ pray always.
Real men in Christ pay a tithes and offerings.
Real men in Christ sustain their leaders.
Etc.
I want to take a different tack to conclude, however; because I want to suggest who those are who are most responsible for creating real men in Christ.
I want to honor women like Azubah, Lois and Eunice, the Ammonite mothers and our common mother, Eve.
I encourage you all to get to know the sons and grandsons of these women and then ask yourselves - you men and boys, that is - if it is possible to become a real man in Christ without having been reared by a mother in Zion.
Of Timothy's mother and grandmother, Paul wrote: "When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also. Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands." (2 Timothy 1:5-6)
May all mothers have faith dwell within them so all men might learn to be real men in Christ.