Linda, huffing and puffing as she laboriously pedals away on the Exercise Room's one exercise bike, which seems to have some malfunction that causes it to make a harrowing, loud grinding/screeching sound as Linda pushes ahead as best she can...'Pant!! Pant!! Pant! I wish I PANT!! were panting PANT!! about some PANT!! hunky PANT!! guy and not PANT!! beca... PANT!! ..use of this PANT!! fxxk- PANT!! -in bro- PANT!! ken ma- PANT!! chi PANT!! ne....!!!'
La Maison's Fixit Man happens in just this moment, always cruising the halls of La Maison, looking for young women in skimpy wear... who might want to join him on one of his many breaks.
'Whoa, big mama!! Do you need Daddy Fixit to help you, a lovely DDDDamsel in distress?!?'
Linda: 'PANT!! PANT!! PANT!!
PANT!! PANT!! PANT!! PANT!! '
Fixit turns to the kaleidoscopic Jill, who is in her 'white person' mode today, thereby reducing her appeal to Fixit relative to her more exotic, edgy black person and yellow person looks.
Jill: 'Disappointed, Fixie? Don't worry, whatever I am tomorrow, it will be different than today...'
Fixit, rubbing his hands together... is that actually a tiny rivulet of drool leaking out of the left side of his mouth?? 'Like three women for the price of one.....OOOOOOOOWWWEEEEEEE!!!' Fixit cries, impressively jumping and clicking his heels.
'That nothing, mr. janitor dxckhead,' exclaims another voice from behind. Man with foreign look/accent who jump twice high, click heel twice hard, then ruin bit wid lowd faaart mebbe forced out by hard landing.
Fixit, slapping his knees, roaring in laughter at foreigner from place Unknown call self Earnes: 'What lame jxrkovvs you furrunners are...'
Earnes jumps up, angry, put up fist: 'Earnes no jerkovv. Earnes need no jerkovv. Earnes use buteful soff slippermmy reskeptickles for what yu need do as jerkskoff!!'
Linda, concerned about the escalation of insults and threats and obscene images, but as excited as can be that these ultraweirdo hunkos are fighting over her and probably Jeel too, pulls her stationary bike over to the sight of the roach... the roach she now realizes is still alive and ever-so-slowly crawling up the cycle toward her, probably similar in spirit to these guys who are showing interest in her for some unknown motive... She laboriously climbs off the machine, careful not to crush 'Hal Rouch' as she has named him, and tired from all her showoff exercise for which she will probably pay for weeks or years... Thousands of dollars of chiropractor visits... Then again, that handsome young chirocrackter she sees makes it almost...
Jill has already jumped between the two glaring men, turning into her black self as she does so:
'You boys need to chill ASAP!'
She commands with such assurance that the two men seem to instantly relax...the tension leaving their faces, bodies, replaced by relaxation and almost like inspiration from some new source of knowledge.
They move towards each other simultaneously, arms out for a big hug...which they do with passion!
Earnes whisper: 'Which xxxx do you want, man?'
Fixit shrugs: 'Yo go 1st, Bro... It's way too close for me to call!'
But Jill's ears are sharp enough to hear this interplay, and starts to say: 'Who says we're up for grabs' but only gets the 'Who says' out before Linda's big beefy hand has cut her off, and Linda whispers: ;I SAY!!'