From: DarkDivah (RaziCichlid)

Date: 2/3/08

To those who are avid readers of my blog let me apologize for my absence. Life or something like it often takes hold and I spend my days twirling around in some dark Neverland that I always forget exists until it comes awash like a bad storm.
I always get a case of the dark and gloomy over the winter months, but this year there hasn’t even really been time for that, I have been in some sort of betwixt the proverbial rock and hard place at least emotionally speaking and the days even though in the short time of the year have been far too long for my liking.
We continue to house my eldest’s girlfriend, her adoptive father some what off his stick has managed to get himself on some medication and it is my sincere hope that their family wounds find their way to healing because of it and that she can go back and live the life she is accustomed to. If not she is always welcomed here, we’re short on space, but big on love in my house.

I have been sharing my bathroom, yes ONE bathroom with 9 other people at any given time, in the end it looks somewhat like a comedy of errors when the line up to pee goes around a corner and onto the stair case, if there is one thing I have learned in the last little while it’s bladder control. I thank the gods that only one of the three girls that graces my home on almost a daily and surely every weekend basis is a girly girl that must be seen with make up.
My second eldest is dating a Pagan! Oh NOEZ! Actually she’s a sweet girl, has a lot to learn, and I will answer her questions as she asks them, she does in a way, very much remind me of a younger version of myself. She is considered terminally ill by the medical community, her kidney’s are failing her and so far there has been no talk of transplants, she is on a strict medication regimen that has alarms (literal) going off at all hours of the day and night so that she remembers to take her plethora of medicines and yet her zest for life demands she beats the odds.

I have been more or less in a writing funk, more lack of time than it is lack of passion, I do have something in the works that demands completion and I have made promise to get back to it this week and see if it will find its end. I may or may not post it in segments here, I have not decided yet.
Friday morning I found myself being what my mother has called “the voice of God.”
I went to pay my utility bill; have to keep the lights on and all that jazz; and while DH went into the payment office I waited in the car. Out of the corner of my eye I see the person to my left flailing his hands, the car shaking almost violently and so I look over to see what the fuss was about. To my shock, horror and disgust, he is wailing on a child, beating on a toddler strapped into a car seat.  I could not believe what I was seeing and I still am not sure how I got from inside my car to standing outside of his window, but there I stood, big as life pounding on the glass...

He opens the door and steps out, towers above me and says, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!”
I stand firm, look him in the eye and tell him, “I WANT YOU TO STOP BEATING ON THAT KID!”
(What I’m assuming is the child’s mother comes out of the utility building and tells him to get in the car)

I, with my trusty pen and paper in my pocket; never leave home without them; write down the plate number.
He smashes his fists into the dashboard of the car causing the whole car to shake and slams his fist on the window at me as they’re leaving, I wave the paper at them in a bye-bye fashion as they speed off. DH comes out of the utility building just as I am heading into it. I cut the line, went to the cashier window and said “Let me use your phone, I need to call the police.” She asks me why, I tell her, she calls for me, I wait for the police, about 15 minutes, give them the details, my details, and tell them YES I will most definitely testify in court if need be.
They go to their car and run the plates, assure me that everything will be fine and that the baby will be taken for medical exam and/or treatment if necessary.  I still can’t get the images out of my head.
DH says to me; “You could have been hurt you know?”
I can’t help thinking, “Better me than him.” (him being the baby)
And how have you been?

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