From: DarkDivah (RaziCichlid)

Date: 1/7/08

A compliment given to me this morning on The Poll Vault got me to thinking… ( ut-oh…hold onto your hats)

In my upbringing I was taught to always be a lady first. Always reminded of what a lady is and what a lady should and shouldn’t do and I think that in today’s society a lot of what is now considered old school thinking has gone amiss.

In my upbringing I learned that a lady always conducts herself with grace; she always is mindful that eyes are upon her; she is always polite and always takes consideration to the feelings of others into account.

In my upbringing ladies were quietly understated, well poised and well polished and knew how to use a knife and fork properly. In my upbringing ladies were good conversationalists with well developed minds on a great many subjects and could keep company with princes and paupers alike.

In my upbringing ladies were fine with being in the spotlight and equally fine with sharing it or having shine on anyone else. In my upbringing a lady knew her worth outside of having a man in her life, but at the same time well versed on how to have one not only in her life, but keeping him in her life.

In my upbringing a professional woman was just that a professional woman and she also knew when to put her career first and knew when to let it sit on a back burner and put her family first.
She knew balance and she knew equality and she didn’t feel the need to exert some ominous power to prove that she was just as good as a man. She was content to be a woman and took joy in the subtlety of being so.

Now before anyone goes all feminist hater on my ass there is more;

In my upbringing I was taught that no woman needs a man to place value on her self worth. I was taught that a good woman is a self sufficient woman who thinks for herself and isn’t afraid to speak up to prove her point.

I was taught to take pride in my sex and I was taught that feminine sexuality is something to be revered not quashed. I was taught the art of the flirt and I was also taught the art of knowing how to appropriately convey that art; Time and place… time and place…time and place.

If you take a look at the female celebrities in the news today, it’s painfully apparent that someone has dropped the ball in teaching the women of today the fine art of womanhood. Most of the young celebrities are attention getters, but not for the things that they should be getting attention for. Over the top drug and alcohol use, public flashes of naked private flesh, anything and everything they can do to make sure they stay in the public eye and I for one think it’s a damned shame.

In the past I have had people reach out to me in my silences, afraid that something was wrong or that I was somehow hurting in some unknown or ungodly way. In truth, a lot of my silences are just that, silences, silent moments that I take, and in which I find my way back to my core beliefs that inside of me there is a lady first, one who knows her place, and her worth and what is important to her.
My mother used to call it “finding your grace.”

Sometimes when I come upon new people and they find out that I prefer to exist in the world of BDSM they are shocked and appalled at the thought of it. Most equate the BDSM community as a bunch of perverted heathen who exist solely in the world of strange sex acts and they fail to even try to understand that there is more to it than just the sex.  I am comfortable within the BDSM community because they (more the old school thinkers than the new aged community though) understand sexuality in the simplest of terms.

 It is where I am appreciated for being a Lady First.


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