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From: WaltBrown44

Date: 4/16/14

Edna replies kindly to my humble and sincere offer of a Hump -- or anything else she might like that I can possibly provide to her... Her reaction delights me...I would even definitely say excites me!

How could I have stooped so low to drinking Tombstone Gin out of the bottle in front of the Browns....like a Bowery Boy.... over the last couple of days...  And then barfing on Uncle Leonard's lap when he was telling me a bedtime story to help calm me down so I could become drowsy enough to fall into a healthy, restorative, deep sleep.

I tried to help clean it off...but he said he'd rather I lay down on the couch so I wouldn't upchuck again on the clean one of his two sets of clothes.

Edna, pushing away my proferred pack of cigarettes, with a couple of the Humps (Camels brand, you know...) sticking up out of the package, an offer for our joint consumption:  'In one sense, I do find your offer of a Hump, capital H, charming and thrilling... On the other hand, perhaps we can jointly consider an alternative 'brand' of Hump with a capital H which would be healthier and even more enjoyable than these Camels.'

Me:  'Hmmmm....  Let me see....'

Edna reaches out towards me as I stand there awkwardly in front of her easy chair:  'Come my boy... Let us put our heads together... Remember, two heads are better than one...'

I for some strange reason reply, probably just to be in sync with her neat statement: 'Yes, two Humps are surely better than one, whichever way you take it.'

With that, I nestle in together with her in her comfy chair, not really sitting on her lap due to concern about my moderate size and weight versus her petite but still quite shapely figure.  'Mommy!' I say like a baby.... just as a joke of course, as I wrap my arms around her gently.'

'Good boy, good baby...' Edna says soothingly, gently rubbing my hair.... the hair on my head...whoops, now even the hair on my chest....one of my shirt buttons must have been opened or something....Mmmmmmm.... I feel so good....With my beeeoootiful Mommy.... I rest my head gently on her breast.

'Hey, girly-pal:  Why is it becoming so nicely warm in here?  Did you turn up the thermostat before I sat down with you?'

'No, no... It's just the warmth a man feels in the complete comfort of a woman who loves him...'

'Yeah... But I'm 35 years old.... What if one of my friends looks in the window and tells the others that I'm acting like a baby?'

'Ahhhh, there now... I think you're just becoming relaxed and almost sleepy from being with Momma... Some people say I still look like I'm only 35, even though I'm a few years older than that....'

'Yeah, but what if Uncle Walt comes home while we're resting together....  He might want me to leave and never return because I monopolized his wife while he was at CrxpMart buying dogfood for Fiddles, who's recovering from whatever happened to him in a recent episode...Ate a big Orgasmically Grown cookie as I recall now....'

'Yes, my handsome friend.... yes.... yes...'

'Gee, Mrs. Brown, you sure are soft in all the places where you're supposed to be soft...... And firm in all the places where you're supposed to be firm......And big in all the places where you're supposed to be big.....And small in all...'

'Ssssssh, my darling.  You have had a hard time.... A hard life.... Like spitting up all that nasty Campbell's Vodka yesterday...after drinking way too much of it....but I guess it was better than keeping it in your body... You still reek of it!'

'Yes, yes, momma, or lover, or whomever you really are... But I thought if Campbell's soups were so mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-good, their Vodka would be just the same....'

'Yes, darling... But there is more than one company named Campbell in the world.... besides, I think this Vodka Campbell's actual name is actually CampoBello Vodka ...'

'Hey, mommy.... That rings a bell -- I think You're right.... Didn't Roosevelt 'Rosey' Grier, the great football player, have a house on a Campbell O' Soup Island, or something like that??'

'Shusssh now dear... I'm almost beginning to wonder about what I'm doing with you myself now...the more you ramble on....'

I sit up like I've suddenly been hit by lightning:  'Hey... You're a married woman... I can't be offering you a Hump!  That will create 2nd hand smoke that could affect your chillins...'

'Okay, I give up:  Go over and  sit on Walt's chair.... It was just so nice having someone besides grungy old Walt in my arms for a few ecstatic moments.'

I put my arms out to her, signalling it's okay for her to come over and sit in my chair:  'I know I'm really blowing my Narrator job and will likely be fired post haste... But I am so needy of the love of a beautiful woman, I cannot resist.  I promise, though, my solemn vow, that I will not try to kiss you or fxxl you up!!'

Edna, standing back, pale:  'What?  What??  Haven't you heard and read about how liberal and open our marriage is... At least as far as me doing things that are edgy.  Walt prefers that I 'play' with people whom he knows and likes -- like you for instance...'

'What gave you the idea that he likes me?  Uncle Leonard wasn't too keen on me, and I don't blame him... so Uncle Walt probably feels about the same!'

'Well, Walt, the lovable old fool, loves and admires practically everyone.... Even Snidely Whiplash and Richard Nixon...and Billy Carter...'

Then we stop talking, as Edna comes over and gently cuddles together with me in my chair, softly rubbing and touching each other.....It was the most perfect bliss I have ever experience.... But not quite.  I was too worried about Walt coming home abruptly and what I would do with my feelings if I fell in love with Edna...Which I probably have already done..'

 

 

 

  

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