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From: Sign543

Date: 1/20/10

I was going to go for a run today, but it's raining, so I think that running today is a bad idea. Unless you're a refrigerator. Then you should run everyday. I'm not a refrigerator, but maybe you are or you know somebody who might be. I guess if you are a refrigerator, you probably don't mind people putting things in you. I'm not a refrigerator, so I don't like it when people put things in me. Unless I ask you to, or pay you to or blackmail you to do it with skanky pictures of your Border Collie in a freak suit. Otherwise, it's just weird. I did have sex with a refrigerator once. That crisper drawer really is versatile! Not really. It's only good for produce. You'll just have to trust me on this. Or try it for yourself, I don't care. I do care, but I won't make a big deal out of it. I only make big deals in Vegas. Or in a a public bathroom stall, but, why drag George Michael into this?

Don't you just hate people who get all offended at the slightest thing? Like that time my neighbor got offended when I washed her car while she was at work. It was a good deed!! I should offer that I vomited all over the front seat before I washed it...but it was still a nice thing to do. It wasn't like I got drunk and vomited in her car or anything like that. It was food poisoning. I think it was something I drank. Okay, it was definitely something I drank, but I seriously suspect that bottle of vodka was past it's expiration date. I may sue.

Anyway, I never get offended by anything. I do offend myself sometimes. That's annoying. Just this morning, I told myself a joke that really pissed me off. I'm still not speaking to myself. Which makes my co-workers happy, actually. I don't have co-workers, I work from home, but my cat did meow her voice of approval. I may buy myself something really pretty later on today to make up with myself and then later on tonight in the shower, I'll just take my...well, that's personal, isn't it? Sick-o!

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