Time and time again I hear people down call a woman who will
stand up for herself. Time and time again I hear the word bitch used like it is
a bad thing.
I am a bitch, and here’s the good news, I’m OK with it.
I personally think that some women make too much effort not
to allow their inner bitch to shine and those women are usually the one’s you
will hear complaining that they are tired or depressed or somewhat desensitized
to the world around them because they have made a habit of putting their own
wants and needs on a back burner while they practice being the perfect wife,
the perfect mother, the perfect daughter, sister, friend and all to often they
have lost a very important word from their vocabulary; the word that seems to
become lost is “NO!”
I have, in the last little while, had people say to me, “but
you’re so confident,” or “I wish I was as self assured or self aware as you
are!” and for split second I run this whole infomercial through my head, you
know the one’s that say something like, “For the low, low price of $19.99 you
can be as confident as I am!”
You don’t need no stinkin’ $19.99 ladies, you just need to
get in touch with your inner bitch.
I don’t care who you are, if you were born with a vagina, or
perhaps had one medically provided for you, you have an inner bitch and she’s
just waiting for you to open the door and let her out.
Prissy Pollyanna that has been in control of your life up to this point is
going to create and air of panic, she doesn’t want the inner bitch to come out
because she’s afraid it will mess up her picture perfect world, but trust me on
this, you don’t want prissy Pollyanna running the show forever.
If by some stretch of the imagination you are perfectly fine living your Stepford
life, stop reading now, because once you let that inner bitch out and she grabs
hold of life, she will not just jump back into the box.
The first step to allowing the inner bitch to shine is to
learn the word NO… no I can’t do this for you. No I will not babysit. No it’s
not okay for you to go out every night of the week with your buddies. No I don’t
know where your socks are. No I didn’t cook dinner tonight. No I can’t make the
world change the spin of it’s axis to suit you… NO…NO….NO…NO…NO!
Embrace the word, learn the word, love the word and finally live the word.
Oh you will get looks, you will get resistance, you WILL be
called a bitch and that is exactly what you want because it means that you are
well on your way…
Of course after you embrace the word no and say it often
enough and MEAN IT when you say it because it’s moot if you don’t, you will
soon enough begin to feel the liberation that comes with saying it. This is
when you have to learn to temper no with yes to achieve a healthy balance.
Once you embrace your inner bitch, you cease to exist for
others and begin to exist for yourself. You begin to get in touch with the
person you were once upon ago, and you suddenly stop wondering what happened to
People treat you differently, they approach you with respect, and they begin to
see you as a human being with feelings and opinions and preferences. Your children (especially if they are teens)
will push your buttons less and talk to you more. But remember, this takes work;
they have to know that they can’t push you around and at the same time
understand that you respect their opinions.
People will stop EXPECTING and start ASKING, they will stop assuming that you
will say yes and might even begin to feel bad for taking advantage of your good
Embracing the inner bitch is a fine balancing act, you don’t
want to be mean and nasty all of the time, but you damned sure want to convey
that you are through being walked on.