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From: DarkDivah (RaziCichlid)

Date: 9/19/07

saw A surgeon this morning...

uhhh...NOPE...he WILL NOT be touching me with a ten foot pole. First off he didn't even examine me.. nice that he's psychic enough to know what I look like under my clothes isn't it?

anyhow this is a blurb that I wrote in an email to someone about it all and I thought I would share...

I am insulted... why am I insulted? Because it's bad enough when you go into a club or store and you KNOW that people are staring at your chest, but to go into a doctors office and literally have to lean over to make eye contact with him because he isn't looking at your face when he speaks is just a wee bit maddening.
It is psychologically damamging enough to have that happen with the average Joe, but to have a professional do it, a professional who is supposed to specialize in reconstruction... that is insulting.
That is insulting because the oogling coupled with hearing "well you're used to being big breasted." I may be "used" to it, but that doesn't mean I have to bloody well like it nor does it mean that I will ever be used to assholes with no semblance of self control making me feel like a brainless piece of meat because of my chest and it certainly doesn't mean that because I have always been big breasted that i am not living in pain right NOW as a result of it.
 
I would bet you $20.00 that he couldn't even tell you what color my eyes were. Couple that insult with him not examining me (not that i would have been comfortable with it anyhow) and then adding the insult to imply that i don't "want" merely a panniculectomy because it's not cosmetic but only functional... how about we insult the big boobed apparent bubble head that is sitting before you and how about when she gets up and punches you right in your little smug mouth that we pretend that it's because she is an air head and hasn't done her homework...
Then when she doesn't only prove that she's not an air head, but has done her homework both on you as a surgeon and on the procedures that she is seeking don't try to bribe her or otherwise distract her with "well were you wanting the total package?"
 
I will have him know that I AM the total package...I am brains, and beauty and I am fucking FABULOUS the way that I am. Why can't people understand that this isn't about being "pretty" in a goddamned dress, it's about being able to sleep and move pain free?
 
THANK GOD I did allow DH to go with me... he was witness to it and therefore I know it's nothing I imagined....
 
and now that I'm calmer.. I think he deserves a good swift kick in bag!
 
hey I said I was calmer... I didn't say I was over it... *G*

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