Identities of these Nordic Cervidae have been concealed
(EX) - H.R.433 is still languishing in committee after more than eight months, and it doesn't look like it will be finished before Jolly Old Guy In A Red Suit Day. This bill in the House of Representatives would have restricted NORAD's annual stalking of Jolly Old Guy and his Nordic Cervidae on the 24th of this month. The bill was introduced by Rep. Charles Rawson (Iowa) on behalf of the Nordic Cervidae Conservation and Anti-Defamation League, in response to their withdrawal of a federal lawsuit filed late last year. The lawsuit, Prancer & Vixen v.s. The United States alleged that in-flight monitoring of the yearly winter visitation flight was an invasion of privacy, and an attempt to "track us just because of the supposedly sexual nature of our names." The anti-stalking measure was promised in exchange for withdrawal of the suit. If the bill is not signed into law before the end of the year, the suit could be refiled directly with the Supremes Court.
H.R.455 was later introduced during the same session, in reaction to the "obscene and inflammatory language" of H.R.433, in which "languishing", "old guy", "Nordic Cervidae", "month", "sexual", "nature", "exchange", "privacy" and "withdrawal" were condemned by the offering representative. H.R.455 isn't thought of having a snowball's chance in hell of passing, as its sponsor, Mr. Craig, has elected to keep his head down, instead of his pants.
This undated photo shows Mr. Prancer & Ms. Vixen engaged in typical Nordic Cervidae activities. Their markings have been whited-out to protect their privacy.
© 2007 The Eleventy O'Clock News™ where "nothing is real."
Photo credit
satire, reindeer