Fortuna's Favor Rites

...when you have once put your neck beneath the yoke of Fortune, you must with steadfast heart bear whatever comes to pass within her realm... Ah! dull-witted mortal, if Fortune begin to stay still, she is no longer Fortune.

Serving irreverent virgins and margarita tea since 2002.
Or was that virgin tea and irreverent margaritas?

Always a bit more tart than sweet.

(Home)

Feb 4

Jail Time

 
Yikes! I've been put in jail! 

I'm currently in Twitter jail for tweeting over my daily limit today. I was just commenting on the UN actions (or lack thereof) about Syria, and they've RATE LIMITED me!
 
I was trying to live-tweet what was going on, but others were doing it better and faster than I was, so I decided to switch to a more, uh... casual style. Various ambassadors were having their say, Portugal, UK, Germany, etc. India was a hoot, btw., but Pakistan-guy was priceless. Then came Russia, one of two countries opposing the Security Council resolution, followed by China, who was the other.  Some time between China & Pakistan, I went "casual"...
 
Fortunalee
India: India is concerned about the situation in Syria.... we have called for a peaceful process. We strongly condemn all violence #syria
 
Fortunalee
India: We believe the main role of the international community is to facilitate communication. #syria
 
Fortunalee
Russia: Bloodshed in Syria has to end immediately... diplomatic efforts.. blah, blah, blah...
 
Fortunalee
Russia: ... others undermining the diplomatic effort, calling for regime change... #syria
 
Fortunalee
China: The SC voted on draft resolution on Syria. China voted against the resolution. Call on all parties to stop violence. Restore order..
 
Fortunalee
China: Peacefully resolve disputes through dialog...
 
Fortunalee
China sez no one should do a thing while everyone is still all pissed off at each other.
 
Fortunalee
Pakistan sez stuffs in Syria is bad.
 
Fortunalee
Pakistan sez killings concerning.
 
Fortunalee
Pakistan sez slap hands of killers on both sides. Bad, bad naughty killers.
 
RT HalaGorani Hala Gorani
Side observation: Pakistan's Haroon sounds a bit like Peter Ustinov.
 
Fortunalee
Pakistan sez, Stop it!
 
Fortunalee
Pakistan sez disappoint. Sad face. :(
 
Fortunalee
Pakistan sez, we have to persevere. Stand, stand, stand.
 
Fortunalee
Pakistan sez I not beat anyone with sticks.
 
Fortunalee
Pakistan sez, let's talk again.
 
Fortunalee
South Africa sez talks, talks, talks, peaceful, peaceful.
 
Fortunalee
South Africa sez we love good stuffs. We regret bad stuffs.
 
Fortunalee
South Africa sez likes voties. Peaceful, peaceful.
 
Fortunalee
Azerbaijan sez Syrian stuffs bad, bad.
 
Fortunalee
Azerbaijan sez talkies, talkies. Syrian onlies. Leaves everybuddy alones.
 
Fortunalee
Azerbaijan sez talkies, talkies.
 
Fortunalee
Togo sez security council shoulda, coulda, woulda.
 
Fortunalee
Togo sez security council #fail #fail #fail #syria
 
Fortunalee
Togo sez security council miserably #fail.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez stuffs in arabic, but nobuddies unnderstand.
 
Fortunalee
'cept arab speakers.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez blah, blah, blah congratties, Togo.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez S.A. good guys too.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez quotties germans, Dr. Faustus.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez sumbuddy selling his soul to debbil, Satan.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez you guys nosybodies. Stay outs!
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez Stay outs, stay outs!
 
RT martinchulov Martin Chulov
A Homs resident: "We have been been burying people in the gardens & public parks but now we can’t get to them #Syria #UNSC
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez what was created to prevent the sourge of war, has become an unstrument of war - Ramsey Clark
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez you guys tryin' to steal our stuffs!
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez UN don't do nothins anywayz.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez youse all out to get us!
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez everybuddy terrorists. Steal our stuffs, break it.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez we's innocents! Really & truly! Terrorist, terrorists, just trying to make us'n looks bad.
 
RT HalaGorani Hala Gorani
Jaafari: Syria is being targeted by parties who want to punish it. #Syria #UNSC
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez we thinks only good thoughts!
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez you didn't read our papers that sez we's good!
 
RT ZeinakhodrAljaz Zeina Khodr
#Syria ambassador : does any sensible person believe govt would carry out attacks on day #UN to meet to discuss situation in that country
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez good, good, good, us.
 
RT ahmed Ahmed Al Omran
Jaafari: the best example of Syria cooperation is what have been said in the Arab League observers report, which you were not allowed to see
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez you're alls being meanies to us. Bully, bully, bully.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez we do everything we's supposed to. You all still meanies to us.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez :Pppppppp
 
RT HalaGorani Hala Gorani
#Syria UN amb making analogy with storyline from Dr Faustus to illustrate what is happening at UNSC? Am I getting this right?
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez peoples lies bout us. Bad peoples. Lies, lies.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez they want our stuffs. Stealies, stealies.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez everybuddy in Syrias free, free!
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez 'sides, you don't let women go to soccer matches. :PPPPPPPPP arab league countries.
 
RT DavidKenner DavidKenner
Jaafari: "Is it rational that states that co-sponsor this resolution are states that prevent women from attending a soccer match?"
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez meanies won't talk to us nohows.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez welcome, welcome dialog!
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez but onlies in Syria! We no talkies here.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez is peaceful, peaceful. Everybuddy loves us, everyone happy
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez you teach us nothings!
 
RT VOAHutch Davin Hutchins
At least 200 reported killed in Syrian town of Homs
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez Ms. Ricies disgusted. What about her vetosies? Ricie bad too?
 
RT ahmed Ahmed Al Omran
Jaafari: Syria will be safe and stable, will remain the land of tolerance and openness. The nation of all Syrians...
 
RT DavidKenner DavidKenner
Jaafari: US Amb. Rice says she was "disgusted" by the veto. I'd like to ask if this disgust applies to 60 vetoes on Arab-Israeli conflict.
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez Ms. Ricies meanie. Meanie, meanie, meanie. Big time. Ambassador Troll, is she.
 
RT HalaGorani Hala Gorani
RT @denisfitz Syria's Jaafari now taking aim at Susan Rice. Says US used 60 vetoes to protect Israel
 
Fortunalee
Syria sez Al Jazeera liesies!! Wants to makes us looks bad!
 
RT ahmed Ahmed Al Omran
Jaafari: they called Syria a regime, used impolite language agains its president. Using these words here indicates they are behind violence.
 
Fortunalee
President of SC sez, we's dun.
 
RT benmoran benmoran
#Syria's ambo in #UNSC, ONCE AGAIN, blames violence on @AJEnglish.
 
RT bechamilton bechamilton
Ja'afari: "Syria will continue to remain the homeland of tolerance and openness" #TellThatToHoms
 
RT VOAHilleary Cecily Hilleary
Wow. #Syria, it's everybody's fault but yours.
 
RT BBCKimGhattas Kim Ghattas
Moroccan rep to UN says dissapointed, pained and depressed by veto re Syria
 
RT DavidKenner DavidKenner
Now we go to the Security Council spin room, which is sort of like a sadder, dingier version of spin rooms after US presidential debates.
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez we stand with Syrians
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez we know who good guys, who bad guys #syria
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez we gonna push. push, push
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez security council sad face. :(
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez change, change, change.
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez don't kill Syrians no mores.
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez we push, push, push.
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez we play nice with others, talksies, talksies. #syria
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez we worked HAAARD.
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez talksies, talksies, on and on. We never said bash, bash.
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez we played nice. Nicely, nicely. #syria
 
Fortunalee
Ambassador Rice sez Syria gummint kills, kills. Stop it. We tried.
 
TWITTER: TWITTER JAIL, YOU. TWEETS TOO MUCHLIES!
 
 
 
 
 
 
Jan 27

Uncle Sam Wants You!

Hey, are you a techno wonder? Got mad programming skillz? Then sign up today to help the FBI spy on the internet! http://t.co/H5v71A2yFri Jan 27 14:27:16 via web

 
Jan 27

Scientists: 1/3 Of Human Race Must Die!

Scientists: 'Look, 1/3 Of The Human Race Has To Die For Civilization To Be Sustainable, So How Do We Want To Do This? http://t.co/ulovVz4qFri Jan 27 14:16:44 via Tweet Button


Yes, I know it's the Onion. Did you?
 
Dec 23

The True Meaning of Christmas

 

"Are you ready for Christmas?"

I'm not sure why that inane question from the bag boy at the grocery store struck me as so... well, inane yesterday, but it did. He'd clearly been taught to make small talk with the customers. Just seconds before he asked, the cashier had asked me the same thing. My reply to her was a blank look, and "Oh, I guess I should start, huh?"  It was 11 a.m. on Christmas Eve...

I'm still trying to figure out what it is they expected me to say. "Oh yes! I've racked up my credit cards to within an inch of their lives, bought presents for everyone I've ever met and Aunt Tithington (whom I really can't stand, but don't dare not buy for - you know how it is,) and I've whirled myself into a state of exhaustion, embarrassment and fatness with parties, preparations, alcohol, cookies and fudge!"

What if I'd said no? Would they offer to go run my extra errands for me, or come clean my kitchen, so that same Aunt Tithington wouldn't sniff at my lack of housekeeping skills?

It's not easy being a non-Christian in a world and time where the words out of everyone's mouths demand that you observe their religious rituals. Every non-Christian out there must find their own way to cope with it, whether by keeping our mouths shut, protesting the intrusion, going along to get along, pre-empting the season to celebrate life-in-the-dead-of-winter in our own way, or just ignoring it all together.

But one way or another, "Life-in-the-dead-of-winter", aka "Christmas" speaks to everyone, and we must each interpret it in our own way, in whichever way we can find peace, and this is mine.

The true meaning of Christmas has nothing to do with newborn-king-babies, or popes, or queenly messages, or god-worship, or yule logs, or Santa Claus, tinsel and reindeer, or any of the other false trappings of men and their religion. The true meaning of Christmas has to do with humanity reasserting itself in the face of overwhelming obstacles. (Thanks for the name though, Christianity, it's come in handy over the years. Oh - and thanks to pagans for the yule log thing, and mistletoe, and Germany for the Christmas tree, etc., etc.)

When a single soldier can stand down, when he does so sincerely, and for no other reason than he needs a rest from the horrors of war and to bury his dead, when he and his fellows and their enemies can stop thinking of country, and land, or oil, or despots, or whatever it is that soldiers in war think about, when he can reach his hand across the trenches and exchange buttons and songs and burial details and their basic shared humanity, then that's when the true meaning of Christmas is achieved.

Am I ready for Christmas? You bet.

I'm always ready for peace on earth. Even if it only lasts a day.

Bullets & Billets by Captain Bruce Bairnsfather, 1916 
Chapter 8 - Christmas Eve--A lull in hate--Briton cum Boche

... On Christmas morning I awoke very early, and emerged from my dug-out into the trench. It was a perfect day. A beautiful, cloudless blue sky. The ground hard and white, fading off towards the wood in a thin low-lying mist. It was such a day as is invariably depicted by artists on Christmas cards--the ideal Christmas Day of fiction.

"Fancy all this hate, war, and discomfort on a day like this!" I thought to myself. The whole spirit of Christmas seemed to be there, so much so that I remember thinking, "This indescribable something in the air, this Peace and Goodwill feeling, surely will have some effect on the situation here to-day!" And I wasn't far wrong; it did around us, anyway, and I have always been so glad to think of my luck in, firstly, being actually in the trenches on Christmas Day, and, secondly, being on the spot where quite a unique little episode took place.

Everything looked merry and bright that morning--the discomforts seemed to be less, somehow; they seemed to have epitomized themselves in intense, frosty cold. It was just the sort of day for Peace to be declared. It would have made such a good finale. I should like to have suddenly heard an immense siren blowing. Everybody to stop and say, "What was that?" Siren blowing again: appearance of a small figure running across the frozen mud waving something. He gets closer--a telegraph boy with a wire! He hands it to me. With trembling fingers I open it: "War off, return home.--George, R.I." Cheers! But no, it was a nice, fine day, that was all.

...in less time than it takes to tell, half a dozen or so of each of the belligerents were outside their trenches and were advancing towards each other in no-man's land.

A strange sight, truly!

I clambered up and over our parapet, and moved out across the field to look. Clad in a muddy suit of khaki and wearing a sheepskin coat and Balaclava helmet, I joined the throng about half-way across to the German trenches.

It all felt most curious: here were these sausage-eating wretches, who had elected to start this infernal European fracas, and in so doing had brought us all into the same muddy pickle as themselves.

This was my first real sight of them at close quarters. Here they were--the actual, practical soldiers of the German army. There was not an atom of hate on either side that day; and yet, on our side, not for a moment was the will to war and the will to beat them relaxed. It was just like the interval between the rounds in a friendly boxing match.

... Suddenly, one of the Boches ran back to his trench and presently reappeared with a large camera. I posed in a mixed group for several photographs, and have ever since wished I had fixed up some arrangement for getting a copy. No doubt framed editions of this photograph are reposing on some Hun mantelpieces, showing clearly and unmistakably to admiring strafers how a group of perfidious English surrendered unconditionally on Christmas Day to the brave Deutschers.

Slowly the meeting began to disperse; a sort of feeling that the authorities on both sides were not very enthusiastic about this fraternizing seemed to creep across the gathering. We parted, but there was a distinct and friendly understanding that  Christmas Day would be left to finish in tranquillity. The last I saw of this little affair was a vision of one of my machine gunners, who was a bit of an amateur hairdresser in civil life, cutting the unnaturally long hair of a docile Boche, who was patiently kneeling on the ground whilst the automatic clippers crept up the back of his neck.

More about Bruce Bairnsfather, WWI Cartoonist & Author

See also:

Written in the trenches by Private Frederick W. Heath 
Originally published in the North Mail, Friday January 9th 1915

The night closed in early - the ghostly shadows that haunt the trenches came to keep us company as we stood to arms. Under a pale moon, one could just see the grave-like rise of ground which marked the German trenches two hundred yards away. Fires in the English lines had died down, and only the squelch of the sodden boots in the slushy mud, the whispered orders of the officers and the NCOs, and the moan of the wind broke the silence of the night. The soldiers' Christmas Eve had come at last, and it was hardly the time or place to feel grateful for it....

... Came the dawn, pencilling the sky with grey and pink. Under the early light we saw our foes moving recklessly about on top of their trenches. Here, indeed, was courage; no seeking the security of the shelter but a brazen invitation to us to shoot and kill with deadly certainty. But did we shoot? Not likely! We stood up ourselves and called benisons on the Germans. Then came the invitation to fall out of the trenches and meet half way.

Still cautious we hung back. Not so the others. They ran forward in little groups, with hands held up above their heads, asking us to do the same. Not for long could such an appeal be resisted - beside, was not the courage up to now all on one side? Jumping up onto the parapet, a few of us advanced to meet the on-coming Germans. Out went the hands and tightened in the grip of friendship. Christmas had made the bitterest foes friends...

(This work is out of copyright. Transcription credit: Marian Robson) 
The Christmas Truce

Additional Christmas Truce letters

The Christmas Truce - Wikipedia entry

(Reprinted from 2007)

 
Dec 11

White House Christmas 2011

"Look at all the lovely presents we go this year, honey!"

 
Dec 11

Iowa State Fare

Mitty shows Iowa that he's a real "Man of the People".

 
Dec 7

Who's Gonna Make Who Cry?

They always try to sound reasonable at first, don't they?

 

 
Nov 25

Attention, Shoppers

A tweet that just cried out for illustration. Quote from about an hour ago, by SF author John Scalzi.

Which then inspired this one...

 
Nov 23

Pike's Pique


If Congress can classify pizza as a vegetable..."



"I see college has started again."

 
Nov 20

The Gauntlet of Shame

Imagine walking a gauntlet of 3 blocks of absolutely silent students, all glaring at you in condemnation. UCDavis Chancellor Katehi found out what that was like last night.

This, after Friday's pepper spraying a group of students by campus cops.

 Creepy.... I know I'd be spooked!

 
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Fortune Turns the Wheel
Fortunalee

Come fill the cup, let's drink about ~
This nicht, we'll merry be ~
For friends and for harmony ~
Likewise my comrades three ~
To meet yence mair some other nicht ~
My secret joy reveal ~
For I now maun stray so far away ~
Til fortune turns the wheel ~


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Serving irreverent virgins and margarita tea since 2002.
Or was that virgin tea and irreverent margaritas?

Always a bit more tart than sweet.

(Home)


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