EOBHR

Entirety of Baseball History Replayed!

Love baseball.... but sick of the 3+ hour games  and all the pampered $10+ MILLION/YEAR players...while you now have to skip lunch every other day plus have also completely stopped changing the oil in, or servicing,  your family car just so you can pay for your MLB cable package?!?  Then you may need to use a healthy supplement to reduce or even replace the current 25% of your waking hours watching draggy baseball games, plus the unhealthy brain-warping diet of erectile dysfunction, gout water, automobile, beer, and insurance ads that accompanies them: YES YOU NEED to experience  the efficient, , never-boring, digest-sized baseball world  of EOBHR (The "Entirety of Baseball History Replayed" project)....Wherein a unique possible but not actual history of baseball unfolds in an unpredictable but totally plausible,  entertaining, fascinating, relaxing, mind-blowing, time-efficient way.  EOBHR is now replaying the 1906 season.  Each season consists of a 16 game per team regular season, followed by an NCAA-like tournament among teams that finish in the top half of their organizational unit's standings.   The tournament games count in team win-loss and also in player statistics.   Really, would you rather spend a year plowing  through the HARD-COPY, HERNIA/SLEEP-INDUCING,  NO-HOT-PHOTOS, HARD-COPY 500,000 word  TOME of Tolstoy's War & Peace -- or see a 2-3 hour movie of the same story, loaded with plenty of hot , blouse-ripping actresses -- hunky, ripped actors -- and colorful, head-banging violence??  EOBHR began the project on July 11, 2006 and has now replayed 1903, 1911, 1912, 1914, 1917, 1918, 1923, 1928, 1933, 1937, 1941, 1944, 1949, 1954, 1955,  1958, 1959, 1960, 1964, 1966, 1969, 1970, 1976, 1977, 1980, 1985, 1990, 1993, 1995, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008,  2009, 2010, 2011 & 2012 MLB seasons.  EOBHR staff hands-on manage both sides and records game details real-time as each contest progresses.  You can relive each game by reading the entertaining, succinct, picture-assisted, irreverent game writeups...  A few hours of occasional reading will enable you to relive an entire season in a plausible way that actually ADDS to your appreciation of real baseball by its presentation of surprising what-ifs.... AND IF YOU ENJOY EOBHR, YOU'LL  LIKELY BE IN NIRVANA  WHEN YOU  CUDDLE UP WITH THE SKUNKVILLE SAGA!!! The world's longest (well over 1,500,000+ words), most pictorial (5,000+ photos), with more than 1,000 archived episodes to enjoy...  funniest novel ever written in English or any other language, including Swahilian!.. Kirkus Reviews compares The Skunkville Saga to the works of James Joyce, Thomas Pynchon, & John Barth.  FONT>

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11/20/14

1980 EOBHR REPLAY#37: DAY 13 OF 16 A.L.

Game 156: 'Wow! Someone really gave this Dotson offering a drive!!
Game 154: A further explanation of Tobik's baffling Cube pitch

1980 EOBHR REPLAY#37:  DAY 13 OF 16 A.L.

 

158  NM (8-5/1st+.5g) 17-22-0  ME (7-6/4th) 4-9-1

While the 1st place Mets blew out the Expos in this skirmish, they still have no more than a 1 1/2 game lead on ANY of the other five teams in the N.L. East.  The actual N.L. Champ 1980 Phillies are tied with the Cubs for last, both with 6-6 records, 1 1/2 games out with just 3 games left.  Kind of like one of those wild, irresponsible NASCAR shootouts or just the classic close NASCAR finish, with cars spinning out, crashing into the wall, flipping over onto their roofs, bursting momentarily into flames,  in a kind of orgy of mechanized, gasoline-ignited violence.

But, as this score shows, this was not a 30 cars in the same lap finish...  More like a two car race between a Bugatti and a Chevrolet Spark, with the Bugatti done its ten laps before the Spark creeps through the first turn of the first lap.

Put it this way, when the Expo manager takes the ball from starter and loser Bill Gullickson (0-1/10.22), the score is 7-2, it is one out T2nd, and Gully, who had some really good real MLB seasons, has retired 4 of the 14 batters he has faced, having already allowed a long 2-run bases loaded single to Mets C Johns Stearns as well as a 2-run double down the LF line with one out T2nd to the same John Stearns... who bats 5th in the Mets' order.  Stearns (.407) finishes with a 4-6/2D/HR/3R/5RBI afternoon against the hopeless, helpless (at least in this game) Expos.   

Aside from Stearns 9 total bases, dreadfully slumping ('til now) CF Lee Mazilli (.255: 3-5/4R/D/HR/BB) and C Alex Trevino (.206:4-6/D/T/3R/2RBI)  each have 7 TBs, while Elliot Maddux (.234: 2-5/HR/2R/2RBI/BB) collects 5 tbs, or tablespoons of love from the Montreal pitchers. 

As the really alert, engrossed, on the ball reader may comment -- 'Wowie jizzackers, Oh Nerded One... These guys you jest cited were all really slumping, except for maybe Stearns.... Otherwise, their BAs would have ended up much higher after this glorious hitfest!!  Gee gitzzackers!  This was like the Mets fans watching this game of EOBHR-O-VISION were paid back for all their misery in the prior 12 Met games with one big whopping payment... Sounds like something our U.S. governance would do, you know what I mean, Baby?  But a win's just a win, 1-0 or 100-0!'

Mark Bomback's (1-0/6.11) name certainly indicated the aggressive nature of the Mets today....Except these Mets bombed and bombed away before the poor Expos could get anything started to bomb back against... A proactive approach, which would not be descriptive with Bomback's -- you bomb us, we bomb you back twice as hard -- name connotation.  This was an all-out premedicated max bombing attack no matter what the Expos did.

But why not?  Why dilly-dally and 'wait til we get behind'.... The pre-emptive strike is far for more frightening and effective!!

Mets have strong reply to their earlier 3-1 loss to the Expos

 

 

157  BA (6-7/5th) 5-10-0  MN (6-7/T3rd) 0-1-0

Baltimore puts up an early run in the T2nd of this Scotty McGregor vs. Jerry Koosman duel, on a viciously hit one out single down the LF line by O's C Dan Graham, followed by a two out well-placed RBI double by Rich Dauer in medium LCF.

The POOR Twinkies can only collect one single and two walks in this game -- 2 of the 3 base-reachers by Roy Smalley, who nullifies his 7th inning free pass by immediately being picked off by mound nemesis  McGregor....  Smalley (walk, single) serving as the bulk of their entire diminuitive, arguably microscopic, limp-noodle offense throughout all 9 innings...  All other Twins 0 for 25 with one Pete MacKanin walk!...

In the T8th, the O's finally give their classy hurler McGregor a little breathing room.  Mark Belanger shoots a perfectly placed single skyward LCF where it drops  into heavily unattended land. Star of the game P McGregor bunts a perfect sacrifice down the 3B line to move Belanger into scoring position, and then pesky Al Bumbry singles up the middle to give Scotty a little more secure 2-0 lead.  Bumbry steals his 7th base of this replay, and John Lowenstein smashes a double deep to LCF, making it an even richer 3-0 edge... Eddie Murray puts a wrap on the late-in-coming 4-run rally by bashing a 2-run HR to LF: 5-0, O's.

But guys... Why be so stingy in giving yer near-perfect hurler some security... I mean, just because his name is Scotty?

  

 

156  MB (8-5/2nd) 2-5-1 CW (6-7/4th) 0-4-1 

In a replay that has provided surprisingly steady offense (.261BA even with no DH, 8.3RPG, 251HRs), the last two games have been like a return to the Dead Ball Era.  Brew Crew leadoff batter Ben Oglivie piles into a Rich Dotson '280Z' pitch T4th and crashes it into the LF stands, fortunately to a spot where no spectators were sitting....  And  then, Paul Molitor imitates Ben T6th with a Dotsonpitch/Molitorbat collision that also  fortinately involves no injuries, no fans anywhere near where Paulie crashes his Dotson offering, so deep that it crashed into lousy, distant, decrepit seats where no one in their right mind would be seated, thank goodness! 

Of course, if there were fans in these sections had gloves and knew how to use them -- or alternatively remembered to watch each pitch, and prepare to duck a) when a long ball was struck in their direction or b) hit the deck whenever the crowd in their seating neighborhood roared or groaned loudly, there would have been no danger at all anyhow. 

Meanwhile, Brewer starter and winner Bill Travers was like a traveller who traversed cautiously through the game, as if his life depended on it... So the final score was an easy 2-0, Brewers, as they obviously followed their own advice to 'use our fine product responsibly!'

Two pitches wreck Dotson

 

 

155 TO (5-8) 0-3-0  NY (11-2) 1-5-0 

Now, we didn't ask our players to cool down the offenses so that the writeups wouldn't be so overwhelming for our thousands of loyal followers out there, or so that our staff of dozens of senior sports reporters could enjoy a couple of easy writing jobs for once.

But the Jays and the Yankees, both Premium Operations, complied with this needed-variety, and needed-break for our worldwide staff of writers from the plethora of complex, lengthy writeups we've had to pump out lately, of course including our coverage of all kinds of sports all around the world.

As you can see from the above, there is but a single tally in this uneventful, give-me-my-money-back game, and a total of only eight safeties, or fair hits, combining both squads.  Like the man's men of earlier eras, the two starting pitchers -- the Jays' stalwart Dave 'I'll pitch any game right down to its raw stub if they let me' Stieb -- and the gritty Ron 'Gator: 'I want to be on that mound until the other team's mascot is lying face down, motionless, except for the impotent tears flowing down its pathetic face ...'  Guidry pitches every moment of this tight, nail-biting affair.

And with two out B3rd, the Yankees' CF Bobby Brown takes a huge home run cut against the stubborn Stieb and just gets a little piece of the pitch, dropping a dying quail single into short RF.... This following a Ruppert Jones leadoff free pass, a nicely executed sac bunt by P 'Gator' Guidry down the 1B line, and a Willie Randolph dribbler that while an out, enables little but mighty 5-10/170lb, speedy OF Ruppert Jones to reach 3rd with two out.... Setting the stage for Bobby Brown's above-hinted-at dying quail single, little Ruppert speeding home, B3rd.

Ironically, when game star Bobby Brown is next up, with the sacks jacked T5th, he decimates the rally with a GDP... 'I had done my good deed for the day...Skip told me not to run up the score too much... He was certain the game was in the bag...even though we led by only 1-0....Do you think there might be something wrong with Skip...or does he really have 20-20 foresight at times?!'

But no matter, Bobby... On this day, the Gator, Ron Guidry, is widening his huge gator jaws  and gobbling up Jays then spitting out their feathers out like he's utterly famished.

End of game, Gator has pitched to contact, recording 27 outs in 30 batters faced, fanning just two, walking just 1, and not allowing a run.

Stieb nearly matches Gator, also having to face only 30 Yankees, but pitching only 8 innings since there needs be no B9th, as that it is when the Yanks are celebrating a rare 1-0 victory!

They paid a Stieb price, losing this one....But the Gator was just plain voracious!

 

154  BR (6-6/4th) 7-13-0  DT (5-8/T6th) 5-11-1

The Tigers (now 5-8) take another step towards extinction (aaaaaaaaaaaarrggh!....thunk!) in this 1980 EOBHR (Entirety Of Baseball History Replayed) 10% replay with a post-season 2nd chance (for qualifying teams, see fine print, avoid excessive use) for certain select teams in the EOBHR Tourney of 1980

In certain regards, the final outcome of this one is surprising, since Detroit leads 4-0 by the B4th, 5-1 by the B5th, and in fact still leads by a thin 5-4 with 2 outs in the T9th!  Not that it was all his fault (or that it wasn't...heh...heh...), but it is in the B9th when reliever Dave Rozema enters the game... Dave, as the home fans rozema (helping rise their ma's up with a strong arm from each side) to greet him, showboated his skills to the delight of ma and the home loyalists by quickly retiring MLB greats Tony Perez and Carlton Fisk...!!  But then that pesky Jim Dwyer, who seems to be earning more and more EOBHR press coverage lately, and who had clotheslined a drive into the RF stands in the prior inning (B8th) against starter Dan Schatzeder to top off a critical 3-run T8th Bosox rally... Well now fans, with bases empty, here is Bosockser Jim 'Clothes' Dwyer again with two out...  And call the Boston choir, Dwyer loops a last gasp single into LF.... then tying run Fred Lynn pinch runs for Dwyer (who asks Lynn when he appears at 1st. Bu...Dwyer are you here, Fred?  I'm the one who earned this precious base?) and Fred mutely explains the reason for his replacement of Dwyer pointing at the Boston bench braintrust, Fred then (after Jim has reluctantly removed himself from the field of play) revealing his porpoise by stealing 2nd...And for the Coud de Goo, the ageless superstar Carl Yaz bats for Butch Hobson and pulls the last gasp game-tying single down the RF line!!!!!!!!!!

And in the 11th the Tigers may have wished that they hadn't rose ol' ma Rozema to their feet again for this advanced frame when Bostonian Dwight Evans lashes a leadoff double, then Jerry Remy, or Jeremy as we used to 'shorten-'im-up, singles to put mens on 1st and 3rd no out, and Carlton Fisk waives the need for any additional nailbiting, or life-shortening tension with a quickly lofted sac fly down the RF line... To give everyone, from me, the man in the booth, to you, the engrossed fan reading on your PC, to the friends and relatives of all these old-time players -- or the players themselves -- who tune in 'just to see the boy given another chance, to appear in action in a brand new adventure, whether it be happy, sad, or bittersweet for the player's fans or relatives or creditors..... 

These two teams met their match in this battle, as the  Motor City men are now co-mired in last place with the Blue Jays , who just recently started out in 1997, unlike 1901 for the Bengals.  At the end of the day, the Tigers, in their last inning of opportunity, were unable to solve the offerings of Boston reliever Dave Tobik....like 'Tobik's 'Cube' -- a pitch that looks like the ball is still in its cardboard box...and may be for all we know.....was described as 'as hard to solve as 'Rubrick's Cube', by the not-that-swift-on-puzzles Tigers!  But, no matter.... Dick Drago (2-0/6.38) dragged himself through this entire game, all its ups, downs, sideways, and false endings to pitch an 11-inning 11-hitter, fanning 8 and walking 3 in an unheralded wonderful performance!

Dick wins knock down drag out marathon over occasionally ferocious Tigers

 
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