Appalcarp's Blog

Vast Splendors of Tennessee, a Man, and Nature

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About the Author
Appalcarp (GARY479)

Appalcarp has been my computer moniker for many years and it is really the shortened name of my business, 'Appalachian Carpentry' (and Construction). While I no longer work in construction but am a teacher and working on my Master's program, I post various items here in the blog from jokes to stories to personal beliefs, etc. Feel free to read at will and enjoy a peaceful stay with the wonderful graphics Amber provided.

About This Blog
Online Journal
Thu, Aug 27 2009

He that endures to the end...

Are you as exhausted as these?
is the one that will be saved. Living in the 'time of the end,' we sometimes may feel as these poor guys, yet we have to endure and endure and endure, never give up! The picture is of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Click on this or any picture I submit to enlarge it.
 
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Tue, Jul 28 2009

Oregon by Jeff Foxworthy (and me)

THIS IS WHAT JEFF FOXWORTHY HAS TO SAY ABOUT 'LIVING IN OREGON ! '

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Oregon.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Oregon.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someonew ho dialed the wrong number, you live in Oregon.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Oregon..

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Oregon.

If you have switched from heat' to 'A/C'  and back again in the same day, you live in Oregon.

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Oregon.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Oregon.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over 8 layers of clothes, you live in Oregon.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph--you're going 80, and everyone is still passing you, you live in Oregon.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Oregon.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Oregon..

If you actually understand these jokes, forward them to all your OREGON friends, who live or have lived in Oregon.
 
And from me (as a former resident):
 
If the forest you once enjoyed the view of is gone, you live in Oregon.
 
If you 'smell something' in the air in the fall, it's 'that moss.'
 
If your 'golden' hills turn yellow from Scotchbroom, you live in Oregon.
 
If you have 5 chainsaws and no trees, you live in Oregon.
 
If you don't think of 'Ford' as a car, you live in Oregon.
 
The 'real' State plant is poison oak.
 
If you know what 'elk' are and have probably seen them, you live in Oregon.
 
If half your money is 'income-taxed' and then you pay the rest out in property tax, you live in Oregon.
 
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Tue, Jun 16 2009

Greasemonkey FF addon (Profanity Filter)


 

Been teaching myself this using Greasemonkey (love that little guy!) This is a wonderful Firefox addon.

Go to your Greasemonkey under Tools, then use 'Manage User Scripts' option. Click it. Then choose an application (I chose Profanity Filter). The program (if you haven't already done so) will ask you for an 'editor.' (I chose Notepad which is an original, no special characters added/deleted (simple text) and GREAT for this). This little program is actually found in the first layer (in XP) of your Windows on your C:\ root directory (the primary one). It will be listed AFTER the K-Security updates listed and is found in alphabetical order. Click on it. The script will then open in a Notepad window. (Choose 'Open') It will automatically remember this unless, like me, you change computers frequently or are in places where you use others'. (for that I use Firefox Portable) which is basically traceless when operated from a remote or flashdrive.

For the purpose of this instruction, I wished to add 'certain' words that weren't already listed in Profanity Filter that weren't being filtered. Pick a spot in the middle of the listed words and then type your new ones using the EXACT same format and spacing--in this case ,'yourword', 'next word', etc. (the comma is what we call a 'delimiter' and is a special character). Beware of special characters like that used in scripting language. In the 'var' section there is the replacement *** (Profanity Filter substitutes that for disliked words) and I chose to use 'bleep' like the old tv shows.

You can then--if you feel qualified--tend to other script addons and make minor changes, deletes, and additions. I'd suggest you keep in touch with someone who knows what they're doing or you'll have to simply uninstall and then re-install it. (if you kept a backup Notepad file as I mention later, you'd be fine.)

The last thing you then need to do is simply use 'save' in the File menu in Notepad (Notepad 'remembers' where it came from so it will save in the proper place). You can use 'save as' for your backup copy which--like when you edit pictures--is the VERY FIRST thing you should do and then once it's working for you properly, you can delete it. You can keep archived copies as well if that's what you want.

I'm sure the more experience whizzbang power users here can do even better but this might get you started. I just don't like degraded language which seems to 'infect' people's ordinary communications more and more so this is a great workaround for me personally. I figure if someone can't say it using good language patterns, then I don't need to read it. (I'm a licensed public school teacher and in my classrooms foul language is not allowed nor is it in most public school systems in which I've ever been.) As a Christian and Bible reader, such foul language just doesn't interest me.
 
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Mon, Apr 6 2009

How to powerwash your toilet

How to wash a toilet...

This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you

1. Put both lids of the toilet up.  Then add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.  You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.  Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 

5. Flush the toilet three or four times.  This provides a 'power-wash' and 'rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean. (Photo provided)

Sincerely,

The Dog


 
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Comments (2)

  • Sep-11 - nanny332 — A good laugh , thought it was very funny
  • Jun-1 - Guest — This is funny? or just plainly stupid.
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